Worry vs. Trust

This was a big theme for me this year. I finally got it. I know what it's like to trust God and stop worrying. I am by no means perfect at it. There are still times I worry but God's been training my heart and my mind to quickly turn things over and let Him do His thing. 

It's possible my personality helps with this. I'm a person who would rather enjoy life than worry about details. While most people might say they live by this motto, I think it's the people-pleasers, the laid-back, non-confrontational types. I always look for the easy way out of things, some might call this lazy, I call it efficient. I try to be efficient with my emotions and my time. I ALWAYS ask myself this question, "What good will it do for me to (fill in the blank)?" This comes with any task or situation. If I just had the worst experience at a restaurant and I feel the need to complain and raise hell, there's a little voice inside my head who says, "What good will it do for me to say something?" Will I get a free meal? Maybe. Might I ruin someone's day, who is already having a bad day? Perhaps and to me, it's just not worth it. I'm not against politely giving feedback, but what good does it do to be rude, angry, and upset about things? 

Unfortunately, for Jon, I also do this when stating my dislike of something he's doing. For example, if he were the type of person to walk through the door and immediately throw his shoes in the middle of the floor, I may stop myself from saying something because I think, "What good will it do to complain about this? I do it too sometimes." It's something I'm working on, this filter of mine. I know when I worry I do things that are not honoring to God and they end up being self-serving. I lose focus.

I feel the same when it comes to worrying, at least now it's more clear to me. Jesus was clear when he said, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" (Luke 12:25). If I can't change anything by worrying, then why waste my time and energy doing it? What good will it do me? What good will it do others? I then become consumed by worry. My emotions are affected negatively, my mind can only focus on one thing, even my physical being is taking hits. I become tired, irritated, weepy, my stomach hurts, I lose sleep, my jaw starts hurting....it's just not worth it. 

Some reading this may think I've not experienced enough bad things to have real worry. Let me assure you, I have. I won't claim to know what others are going through but I will claim to know a Lord who takes care of us no matter the situation we're in, and to give Him complete trust over something is so freeing. This year I experienced the spirit of God telling me to stop worrying over something I've had no control of and never will. Even when I do have control over things, why should I worry when I look to God for guidance? Should I not trust His spirit will guide me through each situation? I constantly go back to that moment of realization and just smile. It was pretty amazing. 

He is in control. He knows what He's doing. He knows what's best. And He knows me! Praise God for this! There are hard times still ahead and I'm sure there will be plenty of times I worry but I hope God continues to train me in letting go and trusting Him. This doesn't mean I won't be angry, sad or experience grief, it means I'm trusting God to take care of me and taking care of others.  I wish I could share some magic formula. For me it was lots of prayer, reading the Bible, and choosing to change my perspective. What good would it do me to trust God? LOTS! I pray others have or will experience the awesomeness that is trusting God.

The Bizzaro World of Highway Driving

Nothing puts you in a merry mood like driving on I-10. Those who drive it on a regular basis or have driven it know what I mean. My usual experience with I-10 consists of the stretch between Tucson and Benson. However, today's particular experience remains the same for the drive between Tucson and Phoenix also. People complain it's mostly Tucson drivers, and while I take that a bit personal, I can say I've had a bad experience with people from out of state as well. I digress. Here's a little background information. According to Wikipedia (which we all know is a reliable source) I-10 is the 4th largest interstate and runs from California to Jacksonville, Florida. In most of the stretches of road I drive there are two lanes in each direction, leaving the right lane for slower drivers and the left lane for passing. Pretty simple.

There has to be a portal or some sort of vortex on the on-ramps which completely erase any education or training drivers have had on highway driving. If I remember correctly a driver is supposed to pass on the left side. This would leave me to conclude that the said driver does not stay in the left lane but respectfully puts on their blinker and gets in to the right lane after passing a slower car. Apparently, some people missed this day in drivers ed. They stay in the left lane even after they've passed a slower car. In fact, it seems they are apt to stay in the left lane if the road ahead of them is clear for the next mile. STOP DRIVING IN THE LEFT LANE. Please, get over in to the right lane. Inevitably, there is someone trying to pass a slower car (namely you, left-lane driver) but they can't. No, it's not a law (unless you are a danger to the rest of traffic), but yes it is a common courtesy. It's a simple task, constantly check your review mirrors and your speed. Even if you are going the speed limit, it may behoove you to get out of the way of faster drivers.

Additionally, if you are the faster car stuck behind a left-lane driver DON'T PASS ON THE RIGHT. I completely understand your frustration but we have to stick together on this. The moment one of us breaks from the group and passes on the right you have started the avalanche of right-lane passers. Let's say there are 4 cars, A, B, C, and D. A is the left-lane driver and B, C, and D are getting antsy, swerving slightly to the left and right to see what the hold up is. Since car B is directly behind A he notices there are no cars anywhere in sight so he thinks, "Maybe I should just pass on the right, no one's around and clearly this person isn't going to get over." He makes his move and passes on the right. Car A notices B passing and has, inconsiderately, been a left-lane driver. Car A decides to move to the right lane but as he checks his review mirror he notices Car C and D have now followed suit and started passing on the right, thus leaving all cars in the left lane to slow down because Car A cannot get over...we now have a moving traffic jam. This really only effects drivers on two-lane highways, but can really slow traffic down.

Cruise control. It's a new-fangled function on a car. You turn it on, set your car at a comfortable speed, press the 'set' button and take your foot off of the gas pedal. This not only saves you gas but helps you maintain speed. The great thing about cruise control is you don't have to use it but it would be great if you could pay attention to your speedometer as you drive and MAINTAIN YOUR SPEED. Nothing is more frustrating than The Highway Dance. If I pass you once, while using cruise control, I shouldn't pass you 5 more times. Maybe you drank a little too much Four Loco before hopping in your car, with your constant slowing and speeding up. I pass you then you pass me and then I pass you again....the dance continues. It's absurd.

There really is a method to the madness which is highway laws and driving courtesies. If each driver followed these courtesies the interstate roadways would be functioning like a well-oiled machine. Safety first, courtesy second.

What are your highway-driving pet peeves?

Wise Ol' Owl

I don't know much about Pooh, nor can I recall watching very many of the shows, but I do remember everyone always got advice from the wise ol' owl. He sort of had that old-wise-man-loving-grandpa type  of personality.


One of my favorite memories from growing up in Tucson was going to Camp Cooper in elementary school. In short Camp Cooper was a hands-on camp to learn more about the desert. We'd go out there for a weekend with our classes in 4th grade, camp, and do activities. One of my favorite activities was to dissect owl pellets. For those not familiar with owl pellets, they are really owl vomit. You may think this is gross but as a 4th grader who loved learning about animals and being outdoors this was like a mini treasure hunt. These pellets look like a fuzzy hair ball full of rodent bones. You could identify skulls and leg bones, and vertebras. Owl pellets are what we humans might call a food journal.

Owls have always had a reputation of being wise, strong, quiet, and respected. In many different cultures and religions owls have represented things such as wisdom, knowledge, protection, and even evil and death. If you've ever seen one in the wild they really are majestic animals. Their big eyes, their confident posture, and their seemingly floating head are a beauty to behold. They can live in holes in the ground, barns, or giant trees and cacti. They are fierce, stealthy night hunters.

Why owls? We went to the Desert Museum today, one of my favorite places to go in Tucson. While there we were able to catch a Raptor Flight Show. They showed 5 species of birds, including a Great-horned Owl. I've said before I worship through nature so seeing wildlife or being out in nature helps me see God and be close to God. For some reason as I watched the owl fly from branch to branch I felt as though I had just discovered how mysterious and graceful they really are. Their horns are not really horns but feathers and they have nothing to do with their hearing. Their face actually assists in their hearing as it acts like a satellite dish and collects sound. Their eyes cannot move inside their skull, thus the reason for their head being able to move so well. And of course, they are essentially silent when they fly using their massive wings. It's random to blog about owls but I wanted to share God's beauty that we saw today.

Photo #14

I wanted to write about something kind of random so I looked up writing prompts and it said to look through an album, pick photo #14 and write about it. Here's my not so random photo.

Hadley was just over 3 months old and here she is working on the ever-dreaded tummy time. She actually did pretty good with tummy time, for a few minutes anyway. I always fretted whether I was giving her enough opportunities to develop physically. I no longer worry about her physical development, especially after walking in on her the other day in the dining room. I had heard the chairs moving around, which is normal. I then hear a bag rustling which I knew was full of glass ornaments so I ran in there to stop her from pulling it off the table. After turning the corner into the dining room I quickly became concerned about HADLEY falling off of the table. Yep! She was STANDING on the dining room table. Fantastic.

This week she has been miss attitude. She's started saying, "Oh shoot." or similar phrases involving curse words. She also had us in tears, laughing at the table because we asked her to eat her dinner and she gave us this look like, "No, I'm not going to eat it." It's "The Look" you may have gotten when you were younger and an adult asked you to do something and for a brief second you were considering telling them, "No". Yes, that look. Well Hadley flipped the tables and gave us "The Look." Of course we tried not to let her see us laughing but it was pretty funny. She's also into scratching now if she gets frustrated or mad. That's pleasant.

She's been a handful and I love it. I absolutely love being a parent. Yes I have a few days where my patience has run out. I remind myself constantly that God gave us this opportunity to have a glimpse of what our relationship with Him is like. I know I'm human and He's God, but I also feel like He's so patient and forgiving with us, with His help we can get through those tough days. He helps me grow and mature and this is what I need to do with our child. So I laugh off the hard days because it's so much nicer that way. I don't want to spend time being frustrated with Hadley scratching me in the face because then I miss her silly, scrunchy nosed smiles. We work on consequences and changing behavior and move on.

This post really went in a different direction and maybe got a little off topic, but it felt good to write and let the words flow.

Advent Calendar mania

So I've had some people ask me to make them a calendar and I'm so very honored and would love to! I certainly can't make any promises about getting it done for this year's Christmas holiday but obviously by next Christmas I'll have it ready for you. I can switch it up a little so if you really want one, just let me know which option you'd like and if you have any specific colors you'd like or other requests. I don't know if I can find the exact same fabric I used because I was at JoAnn's the other day and briefly looked and didn't see it. That doesn't mean it's not there but I just want people to be aware of that. All I'm asking of friends is that you pay for the materials. I believe it's about $20 but I need to do a more specific calculation. Here are the options.

Option 1: Exactly as it is in the picture!

Option 2a: Instead of having the ornaments in a pocket I can line them up on the bottom so you can pull them off in order. With scripture written on the back of each ornament.

Option 2b: Instead of having the ornaments in a pocket I can line them up on the bottom so you can pull them off in order. Without scripture written on the back of each ornament.

Option 3a: Instead of having pictures on the ornaments I can put numbers on them. With scripture written on the back of each ornament.

Option 3b: Instead of having pictures on the ornaments I can put numbers on them. Without scripture written on the back of each ornament.

Option 4: You can buy the fabric and different materials and I'll make it for you!

The finished calendar is 42" by 24" so if you want something smaller (or bigger) let me know and I can adjust.

Advent Calendar

It's done! Finally! It really wasn't that difficult it was just a matter of me making some stinkin' decisions. Jon had an advent calendar when he was growing up and he had fond memories of pulling the little felt ornaments out at random. He had favorites and what he liked about it (besides the little treats) was not knowing which ornament he was going to get to add to the felt tree. So I was trying to duplicate this fun experience for our family.

I already had the beige cloth, I think it's canvas, and headed to my favorite store, JoAnn's! The moment I walked in the door I found some super cute fabric that had Christmas trees on it. It didn't scream old lady or gaudy, and it wasn't too little kiddy-ish. I bought the rest of my materials and headed home.

You can see what my plan was from the pictures. The only thing I didn't really have figured out was the pocket. I still wasn't quite sure if the ornaments would be numbered as so many calendars are, or if they would be Christmas images. I wanted this to focus us back on the reason for Christmas so the idea of "getting something" was out of play. We already did enough to focus on presents we didn't need one more thing.

The Ornaments
I had found a list of scriptures detailing the birth of Jesus so I wrote each of those verses on the back of a little wooden circle. The wooden circle, as you can see, became the ornaments. I then covered each circle with a beige piece of paper using Mod Podge. Using my Cricut machine I cut Christmas images out on glittery cardstock and Mod Podged those onto the circles. I had several issues with this because I had used Glossy Mod Podge and it looked kind of cheesy, I then tried Mod Podge with the matte finish and it looked much better. I almost scrapped the whole ornament idea over this so I'm glad I got them to a point where I was happy with them. I then hot glued some silver cord on the backs to hang them.



The Calendar
This is where I'm not so good with details. I just cut what I think looks good instead of doing a bunch of measuring and planning beforehand. For the blue fabric (Angel), and the three trees I only bought a 1/2 yard of fabric. It was barely enough so the pattern on the fabric would turn out right. I first cut 2 pieces (front and back) of canvas to the desired size and then realized for the biggest tree I only had about one size I could cut it, so the base was 21" and the sides came to 20". I then just cut the red tree's measurements almost in half and finally the light green tree, was about 3" less than the red. I made sure they all fit on the canvas before moving on. I used Heat-n-Bond on the back of the Christmas trees. Again, I didn't follow directions with the trees when using the Heat-n-Bond because I didn't know the measurements ahead of time and didn't want to waste fabric. This doesn't make a difference except in the cleanliness of your iron and ironing board. I then cut a 6"x12" rectangle of the blue fabric and put Heat-n-Bond on the back of that as well as a 6"x12" rectangle of red fabric, which I already had. These were used on my Cricut machine to cut out the angel, the star, and the "joy". I then ironed each item onto the canvas.



Finishing Touches
I laid out the ornaments on the big tree to make sure they'd all fit (I actually did this before decorating them.) I then placed buttons right above them and used a white fabric pencil to mark their spot. I sewed the buttons on their marks, using my sewing machine. I decided to make a pocket and have the ornaments drawn at random, even though the verses were in a particular order, I figured the kids would know the story well enough eventually. As I was about to make a pocket out of the beige canvas I realized I had a pair of Jon's old corduroy's sitting in my pile of fabric. I made sure the ornaments all fit and then cut the back pocket off. I placed it where I wanted it on my canvas and sewed it on. I then sewed the front and back canvas together with right sides facing each other on just three sides. After turning the canvas right-side out, I cut some batting to fit inside and placed it inside. I'm pretty sure normal sewers recommend sewing the batting to the fabric but I've done that before and it's not really fun to work with so I just inserted it after the fact. I top-stitched the top and cut off some excess fabric and batting. I used a dowel rod at the top to hang the calendar. After stitching the top closed I put the dowel rod down and folded the top seam back and pinned it. I then removed the dowel rod and top-stitched where the pins were. I tied some twine on the ends of the dowel rod after inserting it back into the calendar and Voila! It is finished.

I really went back and forth a lot on how to make this and what to do with the ornaments so I'm glad it's finally done and I'm proud of how it turned out.

Failure

I successfully failed at the "Blog a Day" for November. I couldn't even get this last blog up on the last day of November. I guess it's not much of a priority, although it should be since I'm working on being an author....it's sad really. I will say it was a step in the right direction, perhaps I will blog more than I have in the past. Now the trick is to actually hone my writing skills so it's interesting to read. Thanks for those who read all of my November entries. Here's to December blogs!

Who could ever stop us?

This morning at church we sang a song which includes these lines: "And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?"


I so often think and feel like I've been defeated. I'm not talking about things like fantasy football, even though I have clearly been defeated in my league this year. I'm talking about life. Frequently, I come up against struggles and situations that seem bleak and full of darkness. I feel as though God wants me to experience defeat during these times. I sometimes feel as though my efforts, which are (sometimes) full of pure, selfless motivations, are met with hate and destruction. After years of trying to make a difference, I see nothing but darkness and rejection. I can reason away all the outcomes, I know my perspective isn't what it should be or I can say this is just life in a world full of sin. Perhaps during these times God is trying to teach me a lesson by allowing me to be defeated.


I don't want to reason it all away though. This world is also full of God's spirit and grace. His love resides with us on earth. And if I believe that God is for me, which I do, then why don't I live like that? Why do I have fear that sin and hate has or is taking over? Sin is powerful and the king of evil is also powerful, but he is no match for my God. Can you imagine a life where we fear nothing? Can you imagine taking on a whole community full of sin with a smile? To me this is like hearing about the darkness that consumes a neighborhood and with a smirk, looking at Jesus standing next to me and saying, "We got this JC. Piece of cake." 


What could stand against us if God is on our side? I tend to think of armies and battles when I think about God "being on my side." I imagine them to be big powerful armies sweeping the land without fear or hesitation. Then I remember the armies of the Old Testament some consisted of just a few men or maybe one man; numbers don't matter. What matters is the confidence and knowledge (not feelings) that my God is with me, He is for me, and nothing can stop Him. If I approached each challenge knowing I have God who has already gone ahead of me to fight the opponent then came back to meet me and ride on next to me, ready to defeat any unfortunate demon we came into contact with, I'd handle things so much better.


I want to live like this and I don't think it's that hard. I have plenty of reasons to believe God is for me. I have plenty of scripture to tell me He's on my side. I have only one reason to keep me from living this way and that is sin. Since Jesus already took care of my sin, there shouldn't be a problem. It's easy to get caught up in the details like, "I'm human," "We live in an imperfect world." I can't use those as excuses though. God has asked me to trust Him. He's given me examples, confirmations, and knowledge to live this way. So what am I waiting for? Who could ever stop me? What can stand against me?

Turkey Day

We had a nice relaxing Thanksgiving! We went to my aunt and uncles for a late lunch or early dinner, or maybe you'd call it a linner or dunch, either way it was delicious. Hadley wasn't really into it since she ate lunch earlier but she was a champ having only had a 1.5 hour nap. We played a game and chatted. Then we left and decided to stop at our friends, the Burcals, house to hang out for a bit. Tomorrow we will go to Jon's mom's house and then back to the Burcal's house to watch the U of A play. Unfortunately we do not get to spend time with Jon's dad and stepmom, but such is life sometimes. I also hope to have most of the Christmas lights and decorations up by the end of the weekend. That's about it and now I'm really tired because we didn't sleep well last night and to add turkey to that makes for one tired bunch. I hope God blesses each and every one of your weekends. May you decide not to go out for Black Friday because that's insane and instead rest at home and spend time with your family.

Childhood Friends

We are blessed Hadley has a lot of friends. Here are a some pictures of some of them, unfortunately I don't have pictures of all of them or pictures of Hadley and them but they all have a good time together.

Hadley and Julie

The Nelson kids

The White kids

Anaiah (and not pictured, her brother Noah) and Kinsey

Hadley and Embry (this is definitely an old picture) ;)

Hadley and the Baker boys

I know I played with a lot of kids when I was little that I don't talk to today and maybe that will be the case for Hadley too. I hope she stays friends with all these kids, but I hope even more that each friend she has in life will help her grow closer to God.

Thankful

An ode to Thanksgiving. Here's an assignment I might have given my students at some point, although I probably would have made it more age appropriate.


I'm thankful for....

Trust - The trust I have in God and in my marriage
Hadley - She has brought us more joy than we could have imagined
Almonds - when they're hiding inside chocolate they're delicious
Naps - When Hadley's taking a nap or I'm taking a nap, really any sort of nap is wonderful
Kites - They're fun to fly
Family & Friends - God has blessed me.
Umbrellas - Because we all need a little protection from the rain.
Love - Without it life...well there wouldn't be life.

What are you thankful for?

Quilt-Mania

So my mom is in to quilting when she has the time. She made Jon and I a beautiful quilt as a wedding gift and then made a very cute one for Hadley girl. Recently, she was showing me a super cute quilt in one of her quilting magazines and I thought that'd be great for Hadley when she moves in to a "big girl" bed (we plan on just getting a twin sized mattress instead of wasting money on a toddler bed.) It's possible that when kid #2 comes along they will be sharing a room so I wanted to pick something that could also translate into a boy/girl room if needed. The quilt in the magazine had snails, flowers, and butterflies on it and I figured I could find some boy stuff in the future, again, if needed.

While the men were out hunting and grunting in the woods, we girls set out to find fabric for the quilt. It was hard to find anything as cute as what was in the magazine and that would have cost a pretty penny. I was getting discouraged when I found some quilt squares, pre-cut with an owl pattern on it. I was hoping they had the same patterns on bolts but they did not. I wracked (sp?) my brain and decided we'd go with a basic 'window pane' quilt (squares) and do an owl theme. Here are the two prints in the pack with owls on it, the others are just polk-a-dots and stripes and a flowery type pattern.

This presented a small problem...we'd have to come up with the design or layout, and dimensions of all the pieces on our own. The quilt squares were 10" x 10" so at least those were already set but we didn't want to use them all because some of the colors were more for a boy so we set those aside.

Below is our initial layout and we then spent about an hour or two figuring out the dimensions of the rest of the quilt.You may notice folded pieces of fabric in the layout. Those represent white squares which will have applique owls on it. This is not the entire quilt, just what would fit in the view of the camera, but it gives a good look at the beginning.

We decided to frame the the squares in a bright green and then another frame around that with white and finish with a pink, also making the backing a pink. It may seem hard to picture now but I'll continue to post pictures as the project goes. Here is one row already assembled (it will be 4 columns by 6 rows), the only one that will not have an owl in it.

So for the applique owls....we made our own owl pattern based off of the owl on the squares we bought.  We used heat n bond to adhere them to the plain white squares. They're a little stiff but as we put the batting and back fabric on it will be better.

The fabric we used to assemble the owls is from some of the squares that came in the pack (except for the beaks and the blue eyes).  Before we can assemble the owl squares I am doing a button-hole stitch around all the edges to help secure the fabric as it gets used and washed. Below is the first owl I've started the stitching on and I think it really makes the pieces kind of pop out. I only had time to do one eye and the beak before Hadley woke up so this is the next step for me to finish before assembling more rows. 

That's it for now! I'll continue to post pictures as we go, but I am so excited to see the final quilt, I think it's going to be sooooo cute. 

Did you ever think you'd be queen?

I'm sure most Americans are tired of hearing about Prince William and his engagement. As I sat there looking at the TV screen this morning and the newscaster's voice drifted into oblivion I began to wonder. Did Kate Middelton, little girl from Berkshire England, know she'd grow up to be Queen of England? Was this a dream of hers? Do little girls in England dream of one day being Queen? I imagine Miss Middleton did not think she'd grow up to be Queen of England, married to one of the most famous, modern-day royals.

I always played a teacher when I was a little girl, although I don't think I ever expected I'd actually do it. Of course you look at little kids as they walk down the sidewalk or wave from the grocery cart and think they'll grow up to be a contributing member of society. Do you ever look at a 4 year old and think, "that kid is going to grow up and be a thief and drug addict,"? No. We might look at a bratty kid and think they're going to be an unpleasant adult, but a drug addict or even murderer? Sadly, teachers joke about these kinds of things but in reality we think that's all it is, a joke.

I digress on my point. I wonder how many adults look back in their childhood and think, "I never thought I'd be where I am." Parents always have dreams and aspirations for their children and sometimes children supersede those dreams and sometimes they don't get even close. If you're a parent, I don't think it's bad to have dreams for your children but don't forget they have their own dreams.

When you look back on your childhood dreams I hope that your current reality exceeds those dreams. While we can't control everything in our futures we certainly have a strong influence. Did you ever think you'd be where you are now?

Vacuum-packed clothes

Having a child means being in a state of constant change. You adjust to waking up every 3 hours, then you adjust to them rolling over or sleeping in their own room. You adjust to their changing diaper size and changing clothing size. You adjust to new toys and thankfully, more sleep at some point. You adjust to having a constantly messy house and a newly decorated house as you child proof. You adjust to your child getting new teeth and then using those teeth, at some point, on you or another human being.

Hadley's latest piece of artwork....on our furnace door

I feel like I am constantly cleaning out Hadley's room. I have to organize her closet as she grows out of toys and things like her bouncy seat. And I have to constantly clean out her dresser as she outgrows clothes. Usually it goes like this....

I just organized her drawers for the season and finally took out all those that don't fit anymore. Her drawers look really empty but they're organized. Over the next 4-5 months she gets more clothes (the nice thing about having a birthday in May and then Christmas in December is about every 6 months her grandparents have a reason to fill up her dresser) and her drawers become more full. It's almost to the point where it's hard to open the drawers (ok maybe that's a little exaggerated.) It's hard to keep her drawers in order because we have to dig through everything to find something that fits her or fits the current weather. Then the weather starts to change and I know it's inevitable it's time to clean out her dresser.

At first I was using plastic bins that fit under her crib because really that was the only place we had to store them, unless we put them out in the backyard storage shed. I imagined opening it for our second kid and finding little bugs all over so that wasn't really an option. Now I realize I could have let people borrow the clothes, but frankly, I was offered someone else's clothes for Hadley that they MIGHT need back for their next kid and I imagined the worst scenario. I'd start sifting through all the clothes trying to remember what was theirs and what was ours. After days of finally making the two piles I'd realize the majority of the clothes we borrowed are now permanently stained with blueberry juice and spit up stains.  I'd feel awful and now what do I do? I just thought it'd be more of a hassle for both me and the person who so kindly let us borrow the clothes. You might find this whole thing ridiculous and maybe even a little selfish but if I'm hoping to reuse some of Hadley's clothes for our second kid (provided it's a girl) it would be awkward to ask for the clothes back. If I knew we were done having kids I'd gladly hand over all of her clothes to anyone who wanted them. Anyone else experience this debacle?

Vacuum-packed Clothes

Attempted organization in Hadley's closet

Swing, bouncy chair, and the infant carrier don't fit too well in a closet.

 I quickly realized the plastic bins were not going to work so while at Big Lots I walked past a box of The Space Bag. The ones where you use your vacuum to seal them and they save space. I thought I'd give it a shot. They. Are. Awesome. They work really well and even though they weigh about 50 lbs once they're all sealed up I have packed all of Hadley's clothes from the day she was born into 4 bags. I do check them every now and then to make sure the seal is still good. So far no problems. To all those mothers out there who may feel like they can never keep up with the ever-changing world of a child...neither can I so leave it all behind and one day you can vacuum seal it away because you can't vacuum-pack those chubby cheeks, gummy smiles or silly laughs, those nights where all they want is to be held by you, the cries of 'mama' or 'dada', those times they kindly hand a toy back to a friend who really wanted to play with it and those times they tell you they love you.

Things that cannot be vacuumed-pack...CUTENESS!

Easy Greek Chicken Casserole

I recently made this from our Weight Watchers cookbook called One Dish Meals. I thought it was pretty good and a hearty, warm meal for the winter. Enjoy!

1 Tblsp olive oil
2 C chopped onion (about 1 large)
2 Tblsp fresh thyme leaves
1-2 tsp black pepper
10 garlic cloves, minced
6 C cubed red potato (about 2 lbs.)
2 C cut fresh green beans (about 1/2. I just used frozen green beans that I defrosted)
1/4 C water
2 Tblsp anchovy paste or finely chopped olives
2 (14.5 oz) cans no-salt-added diced tomatoes, undrained
8 skinned, boned chicken thighs (about 1 lb.)
1/2 C crumbled feta cheese

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees
2. Heat oil in an ovenproof Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onion, saute 3 minutes. Add thyme, pepper, and garlic; saute1 minute. Increase heat to medium-high. Add potato; saute 8 minutes or until potato begins to brown. Stir in green beans, water, anchovy paste, and tomatoes. Remove from heat. Nestle chicken into mixture; sprinkle with feta. cover and bake at 375 for 45 minutes or until chicken is done.
Yields: 4 servings (2 thighs and 2 cups of potato mixture)
Weight watchers points: 10
Calories per serving: 488

Notes: Not all of the potatoes cooked all the way through so make sure you cut them in small cubes or if you want to pre-cook them for a few minutes that might help. I also had to stack the chicken pieces on top of each other because they would not fit side-by-side in my dutch oven but that did not seem to cause a problem in them being cooked all the way through.

Tis the season

Tis the season to give. Tis the season to bake. Tis the season to be with those you love. I think I've shared this before on my blog, but I love the winter holidays! As a kid I'd help set up the Thanksgiving table in it's finest of linens and china. The smell of all the delicious food lingering throughout the house. Family members filing in the door and laughter filling the air. I love Thanksgiving. It's a little different now, being married but I still enjoy the time with family and all the wonderful food. I also love having Jon at home for the weekend. Then the countdown begins to Christmas.

I love decorating for Christmas, especially now. I have a lot of crafts in mind but I have to exercise self control so as not to spend too much money. I want to make an advent calendar this year with scripture to read each day. I want to make some stockings for each of us that will match. While it may seem I'm caught up in the commercialism of the season please understand, growing up and now, we do things regularly to remind us of the precious gift we were given. We have an advent wreath that we started using last year and when Hadley gets older I want to read through the story of Jesus' birth while we set up the manger. We spend time with family and friends baking cookies, enjoying each others company. We are able to give to angel tree and by adopting a family with our life group. Attending the Christmas Eve service at church is also a great time.  

I love each and every part of this season, but mainly I love spending time with people. It seems like we're all so busy throughout the year but when the holidays roll around everyone makes time to hang out. May you have a blessed season!

To clip or not to clip....

So I did my fancy experiment on the two grocery stores and now I'm wondering how much effort I should put forth into clipping coupons. Originally I never did clip coupons because I didn't have the time. Now that I have the time I've been paying a little more attention to all the junk mail we get in case there are some coupons we could use. Here's one problem about coupons....we don't normally buy what the coupons are representing so I would, in fact, be spending more money than I usually do just to use this coupon. I also wonder about brand name products being offered at a discount rate, when generally store-brand products are about $1 or $2 cheaper already. My next thought was, is my time worth the $10 I might save? It would probably take me a good 30 minutes AT LEAST to get my coupons in order and make my list to match. Again, I'm not about to shop around at different stores, because my time is worth more than that. I have continued shopping at Fry's for now, except when I need something quick, I'll run to Safeway. One good thing about Fry's is they now accept all competitor's coupons.



I know of some friends who are paying to get coupons and another friend who follows a weekly blog on Arizona stores. They all claim to be getting items for free. I don't know the whole situation and would need to hear more about their process and how they do it all, but it sounds like you essentially buy in bulk according to the coupon's terms. So if you have to buy 2 to get the 3rd one free, you may end up buying 3 boxes of rice, when you only needed one for the week. Ok, so it's like stock piling then. I suppose you have to be careful what you stock up on so it doesn't spoil or you eat the same thing for the next 2 or 3 weeks. I think if you're going to make this worth it you'll need to do lots of planning ahead. Also, what if you've spent so much of your grocery budget on stock piling that you don't have enough for a few miscellaneous items? Perhaps this is solved with planning also. Again, I don't really know how it all works, so until then these are all assumptions.



I did find some great places where you can load coupons onto your VIP card or Club card. If you haven't seen them you should check them out. I also didn't realize Target has a section on their website where you can print off coupons. Every now and then I find a good coupon I can use but the majority of the time it's for things we don't buy. It's a great concept, loading coupons onto your card but the stores would really benefit if they included some of their store-brand items. I'll include a few links below of what I've found if anyone has interest in looking around.

I was getting good at planning an entire month of dinners at the beginning of the month and it made grocery shopping SO easy. I think I'm going to try it again and maybe even find a way to share it with recipes so others can get ideas. Planning really is key to saving money, it's certainly the first step.

What do you think? Are coupons worth the effort?

Links:
Coupons.com - They have both digital and printable coupons
Shortcuts.com --  Digital and printable coupons
Target Coupons -- Printable
Centsable Shoppin' -- coupon blog detailing ads and locales of manufacturer or store coupons for AZ stores. You click on the store on the left and it takes you to the page for their ads and coupons.
Proctor & Gamble -- You can load your Fry's (and maybe Safeway too) card and get digital coupons or printable coupons
Fry's -- You can load coupons onto your card or print them
Safeway -- Digital and printable coupons

Maybe a blog every other day

Ok here it is. My blog for the day. Really I have no time right now to blog on anything substantial because it's my bedtime. I've done pretty good and have only missed one day so far, hopefully no one noticed.

These next two months are going to be super busy but I'm so excited for the holidays. Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year because it means traditions, family time, giving (and I won't lie, getting things is nice too.) I love the decorations and the food. I'm excited to bake lots of delicious sugary, high-calorie treats. It will probably ruin all the hard work I've done to lose 10 pounds in the last few months but life's short and in the words of one wise, orange, cartoon cat, ".....eat dessert first."

Addictions

It seems very prominent these days, maybe it's more tolerated or more socially acceptable to have an addiction and so people speak up about it. People joke about their addiction to coffee, particularly Starbucks. There are addictions to sweets, TV shows, collectibles, all of which seems harmless. Then you get in to the more serious addictions like drugs, alcohol, spending money, sex. Somehow we have attributed value to certain addictions and ignored the lesser offenses. According to the dictionary, here's the definition: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.


It seems extreme but do we know the hold those little addictions have over us? If your addiction to sweets is pushing you closer and closer to becoming a diabetic, is there severe trauma to your psyche? Eventually there could be to your physical state. I don't think I've really ever had an addiction to much of anything. I suppose it'd be extremely hard for me to give up everything sweet. We've tried to eliminate sugar from most of our diet in order to lose some weight but I certainly would have a difficult time giving it all up. What about the relationships these addictions destroy? Is that severe trauma? I think so.

Having had a relationship damaged by addiction I've had a new outlook on what it means to be an addict. I don't judge addicts anymore. I don't know what it's like to be so overcome with fear, hopelessness, pain, or sorrow to become a slave of an addiction. I do know what it's like to watch someone you love struggle with an addiction. As an outsider it's hard to understand what the addict is experiencing. What is so wrong in life that they risk physically hurting or even killing themselves, destroying relationships, losing all they own, and simply becoming a slave? As an outsider, you seem to go through a sort of mourning process. You become scared and wanting to help in whatever way you can (which can lead to enabling). You then become angry, wanting to leave the addict completely on their own (which leads to unforgiveness and not wanting to be graceful). I went through a time of feeling guilty, like if I had only done something different maybe this person would not have turned to the addiction. At some point you reach the grieving process. I don't think it matters what the start of the addiction was, how it manifested itself, or the result of the addicts actions, you grieve what was taken. Maybe it was the time the addict spent looking for their next fix, maybe it was the material items destroyed or even lives that were destroyed. Perhaps it's dreams that are now gone or even the addict who is now gone. The good part of grieving is you get to a point where you realize you can't change the addicts behavior. It's up to them. It's freeing in a way. At least it was for me because I tried so hard to figure out how I could make this person stop. Maybe there was something I could do or say to really make them stop and think about what they were doing. When I was 100% clear and honest with myself I knew I had no control, the addiction is so much stronger than anything I can do. Sure, I've set boundaries and boundaries can make a difference but it does not ensure the addiction will be conquered.

I've struggled often with how to respond. Several times I've wanted to cut off communication totally, but that helps me not the addict. It's the easy way out. I would pray and pray about how God wanted me to respond and time and time again, God said, love them. Just love them. I've set boundaries and will work hard to stick to those (it's really hard to do too.) But overall I will still love the addict, no matter what. Through this whole process I would try to put myself in their shoes. I understand it to a point, life can sometimes become bleak, painful, and be a heavy burden to carry. It's easy to find things which make us feel good so we can deal with the hard times. I get that. What I don't get is losing everything positive in your life for an addiction. So I will love them. It's hard to say what that looks like exactly. In the moment the addict may tell me that bailing them out of a financial situation would be loving, but I know that's only making things worse. Perhaps cooking a meal for them, or calling them and asking how things are going, maybe sending them an encouraging card. It's going to be different for each person.


I wish I had the answers to helping an addict or even to help those who are affected by addicts. God, obviously, is a huge answer and counseling is a good one too. The only answer I have some sort of control over is to love them. Their addiction is no worse than our rude behavior or bad driving habits, at least in God's eyes. And since God is the only one that matters when it comes to judgement and grace we need to give up trying to control the addict or their behavior and stop the condemnation and love them. If there was ever evidence of a natural inner desire to feel the love of God I think it is the life of an addict; the life of someone searching for something to offer healing and rest.

Grateful

I'm grateful for:

family, especially my husband and daughter
our house
the ability to stay at home with our daughter
for God's grace and love
for the ability to drive down the street whenever we want and get groceries
for choices
for learning from my mistakes
for being able to learn new things
for friends
for our king-sized bed
for living where it's warm most of the year
for mountains
for calming streams of water
for God's faithfulness
for knowing how to read and write


These are just a few things....

What are you grateful for today?

My first year of college (it's kinda long)

When I was in high school, attending my last Christ in Youth (CIY) conference, I made the decision to go in to ministry full-time. I was interested in counseling and teaching so I figured I'd work towards family or children's ministry. I went with a small group of kids from the youth group and a few parents to check out some christian colleges in the midwest. We looked at Ozark Christian College in Joplin, MO and Manhattan Christian College in Manhattan, KS. Manhattan had several positives, I loved the little town it was in and it was right across the street from Kansas State University. The dorms were laid out in 'suites' which had more of an apartment feel and I knew a lot of people who were going to go there, not to mention my youth pastor and his wife had graduated from there. Ozark was nice also but they had traditional dorms and the town wasn't as quaint. I believe Ozark was the cheaper of the two though. When I had started discussing Christian colleges with my parents I had originally wanted to go to one in either California or Colorado. California was closer and more familiar to me and Colorado was beautiful. The problem was the tuition for any Christian college in those two states was at least twice as much as Ozark or Manhattan.

My parents were hesitant about my going in to ministry. They were worried, that as a female, I would have a really hard time finding a church who would hire me on full time. Fortunately a female pastor is more common now. They also reminded me that I might not find a church in Tucson (like Pantano) to be hired by. I somehow was convinced, although I wouldn't admit it, that Pantano would hire me after I was done with school. I acted like I knew all the possibilities and weighed all the options. I had in one sense, trusted God completely with my journey. Of course paying for school was another obstacle but my parents were determined to do what they could to help so as to avoid getting loans. I tried for different scholarships and applied for federal aid (FAFSA) but nothing came through.

Leaving Tucson, the home I had lived in my whole life, my entire family, friends, the church I grew up in, everything I had known was the hardest thing I had ever done at age 18. I remember one last night some of my friends came over and we just sat in my room and cried. When we got to the college there was a family orientation and my dad had excused himself for the bathroom, or so I thought. After he hadn't returned after about 10 minutes I went looking for him and he was outside of the chapel, bawling. I had only seen my dad cry a few tears once before so upon seeing this I, too, began to cry. As my parents pulled out of the parking lot to leave me there, later that afternoon, I went back up to my dorm room and cried some more. I didn't feel like eating for the rest of the day. There were a lot of exciting things that happened too. Like shopping for all my dorm stuff was fun, being responsible for myself was also exciting. I had met some new people and luckily had a good friend from Tucson join me at the college. I had applied to work in school library and got the position was which was awesome! My boss there was so friendly and caring. Being away from home got easier as the days went by and I quickly adjusted.

The college at the time had about 700 students total, and about 90% of them lived on campus. With Joplin being such a small town it was hard to find off-campus housing. Besides one of the requirements for a freshmen was to live on campus. There were also some trailer homes for married students; most were families training to be international missionaries. Us single students referred to the trailer park as "The Promise Land." Dorm life was a blast, although sharing a bathroom was not. The washer and dyers were in the basement and my room was on the 2nd of 3 floors (not including the basement.). If you were really lucky you might get a room with a window AC unit, otherwise you had a fan for cooling. Quite honestly I can't remember if there was cooling for the entire building or not, but if there was it hardly worked at all. I never was one of the lucky ones, but I survived. Of course, dorms were not unisex and members of the opposite sex were only allowed in the lobbies except for 3 days out of the school year: move in day, move out day, and a special open house where we could go visit each other's rooms. However, on open house nights, ALL doors were to remain open.

Classes were awesome! Since most students lived on campus the schedule worked more like a high school schedule. Most all classes were held during 7am-2pm. There were a few night programs for those working full time or for certain degrees/certificates. The teachers were all pretty much amazing. I can't think of one teacher I had who I did not like. I did have a few large classes like a public college. Those were most of the introductory courses like our Acts class or Old Testament class. I'll describe a few of my classes for you:

Acts -- This was probably my favorite class. It lasted the entire school year and had about 80-90 students in it. The professor was AWESOME! He was a shorter man who was funny, animated, and charismatic. Whenever there was a thunderstorm we would inevitably be talking about something extremly spiritual in the book of Acts and inevitably as the Professor was sort of retelling this particular part thunder would crash outside, like it was all planned out. We all swore he had some agreement going on with God. Our big assignment was to keep a GIANT 3-ring notebook detailing certain people, places, and events throughout the book of Acts. The binder was a part of our final grade. What was so cool about this professor, aside from his storytelling, was he would invite about 6-8 students over to his house at a time for a spaghetti dinner with his family. He really cared about his students.

Old Testament - Sadly I don't remember a whole lot from this class. I did enjoy the teacher. This was another big class.

Speech -- This was a smaller class, about 20 people but the professor was hilarious. We gave a lot of speeches and I'm so thankful for this class. While I didn't necessarily get over my fear of public speaking, it certainly gave me more confidence and skills to do it.

Teaching ministries of the church -- This was one of my favorites as it focused more on children's ministries and family ministries. Our final was to create a whole children's ministry with a vision, Sunday school curriculum, etc. almost all the things that would go into starting a new church. I had so much fun with it and got a good grade on it.

I had some general classes like English and writing and twice a week we all met in the chapel for a time of worship and a short message and announcements. During the second semester my schedule no longer fit with my working in the library and so I applied to work the snack bar for sporting events. I was pleased to get that job and now every time I go to a sporting event where pop corn is popping I remember the days of filling up the machine with oil and corn kernels and then the awful time I had cleaning the pop corn machine. Good memories! The food in the cafeteria was pretty good for the most part and I usually had cereal and easy mac in the dorm when I didn't want to go to the cafeteria.

There wasn't a whole lot to do in Joplin except frequent it's 3 Wal-marts for easy mac. We weren't allowed to go into the bars to play pool because there were a lot of seniors in the area who were financially contributing to the school. If any of them spotted us coming out of the bars, we would have been in big trouble. How they'd know we went to Ozark, I'm not sure, but that was the explanation which was passed around. We would frequent Springfield (about 2 hours away) to play hide and seek with hand held radios in the Bass Pro. shop which was full of Quakers or Amish people. We would also go to a DELICIOUS family-style restaurant for birthdays (you'd get a free meal on your birthday) called Lambert's Cafe in Springfield. They were known for throwing their hot, yummy dinner rolls to you at your table. One last major thing we did was go line dancing. There was a small, family-friendly (i.e. no alcohol or smoking) warehouse that would give a quick lesson and then have line dancing every Friday night. Students got in for a discounted rate, like $3 and while it was generally filled with older people we had a blast. Every now and then they'd play Backstreet boys for us younger folk. I even got to go cow-tipping, a.k.a being left in a dark field with waist-high grass and no flash light. We would visit friends homes who lived within a few hours of school and kept ourselves busy. I have a lot of good memories.

I visited home at Christmas and then again on spring break, but when I came home for the summer I had to make a tough decision. It has taken me a long time to be able to verbalize why I didn't go back to Ozark after that first year. At first I kept thinking it was because I wanted to be out in the trenches doing ministry rather than sitting behind a school desk learning about it. That is still, in part, true. I think at the time though, I felt like I was missing out on life in Tucson. People were moving on, big things were happening, like my brother recovering from a traumatic spinal cord injury, and life was different. I didn't want to miss out. I felt like I could stay in Tucson and still get an education which would relate to ministry. While I think my reasons for staying were wrong, I'm glad I made the decision to stay in Tucson. I met Jon a year later. I sometimes still feel a draw to working in ministry full time and perhaps God will make that opportunity happen at the right time. On one hand I'm sad I left after only one year with nothing to show for it except textbooks and giant 3-ring binders full of info on Acts, but I learned so much about myself. I'm grateful for the experience.

Followup on 'Burn Out'

I had previously blogged on how I was feeling burnt out with the several ministries we are involved in. I was discouraged, tired, and had no hope for the future of these ministries. Toward the end of my blog I had stated I felt my dependence on God to do his thing was lacking and I needed a perspective change. Well, God spoke up.

This past weekend at church Pastor Blumenthal was speaking on carrying one an other's burdens and being aware of the load we carry. I don't think the overall sermon was meant to convey what I needed to hear but there were little gold nuggets throughout where God reminded me he is faithful. One phrase Roger kept repeating was "I get to..." instead of "I have to..." I can tell you with complete honesty in the past year I have often felt like "I had to" serve in these ministries and accomplish certain things. The obligations were weighing heavy on me. I believe this weight became so heavy I lost sight of what God was doing and was capable of doing in each of these areas.

After two years in our neighborhood ministry (which passed August of 2009) we were hoping to have an established team full of neighbors and beginning to offer classes or home groups where neighbors could learn and grow from each other. Where were we? Our relationship with the neighborhood church had fallen apart. Our KEY relationship with the neighborhood association was hanging by a thread and our own team from Pantano was experiencing personal roadblocks at each turn. See our relationships with those already in the neighborhood were not due to personality differences, it was due to daily life. Those in the church either did not live in the neighborhood and did feel invested or were already committed to the max and couldn't possibly devote any more time to our mission. The neighborhood association was barely alive when we started working in the neighborhood. They're a great resource because then we can tap in to the city resources but it's hard when the association president has her phone disconnected on a regular basis and the city is cutting funding so meeting notices are eliminated. our last resort began in 2010 and that was to work with the neighborhood school. If we couldn't reach the neighborhood through the school we felt like maybe it just wasn't going to happen. Where was God in all this? He was there, but I don't we allowed him to do much. We would meet and pray but I know there were times I'd walk into a meeting in the neighborhood not trusting God would be present. It has been so difficult to get neighbors to participate. How do you compete with single-parent families who have to work two jobs? They don't have time to meet their neighbors. How do you get an invalid senior who has been robbed several times and seen more drug transactions and street-walkers in the past 5 years then I will in my life time to come out of their house and be friendly? I can't, but God can. I realize not every person in the neighborhood will buy in to what we're doing. I want to look at this ministry through the eyes of "I get to..." I get to meet these people, I get to watch God impact their lives, I get to see children have hope of a future, I get to see neighbors take care of each. I wish this one sermon changed all that in a matter of an hour but it didn't. It's still a process for me and I continue to pray about it.

Starting a new YM group was a little difficult. Trying to get a place at the church reserved, getting the group advertised in the different medias were just a few of the initial frustrations. Then we only had one couple show up. My fears of hurting people's feelings and turning them off to a group where they could be so blessed started seeping through. We have split our group several times and have not done it without awkwardness and a little pain. I wanted this time to be different, I knew it could work, but you need more than one couple to have a life group. After week two of five I was starting to think we would need a back up plan. By week three I was discouraged. I was sitting out on the church patio by myself waiting for other couples to show up and up walks a new couple! I laughed a little inside as I pictured God standing there, smiling, "See. See what I can do. Just give me a chance to work and I'll show you how great things can happen." Two couples is still not enough to have a life group but these two couples are willing to work and wait on more couples. I feel encouraged and know that God will work in that group. I get to be a part of life group who truly cares about one another, where God uses each person in their own way, and will do what it takes to serve each other. I get to be a part of creating a new YM group when so many young, newly married couples can get lost in between college-age ministries and family/children ministries. I believe this ministry will be a great example to so many in regards to what a difference a life group can make in a person's life. Already, among the pastors at our church, we are well-known as a thriving, positive group.

Pastor Blumenthal taught from Galatians 6 and it was verse 9 that hit me: "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." I want to be a part of that, I don't want to give up. I want to trust God to do his work because he can do so much more than I can with much better results. In a book I read recently, I believe it was Revolution by George Barna, he said something to the effect of God is already there doing the work...let's join him.

Our big little girl

Hadley is fast approaching the 18 month mark. I try to fathom what it will be like to have a 2 year old, but it just doesn't register. I compare her now with 2 year olds and try to picture her growing and developing so much in the next 6 months, it's simply amazing to me.

I love to watch her funny expressions every day and hear her laughing so hard she can barely breathe. She runs in circles and dances in circles. She shrugs her shoulders with the cutest smile ever! She'll also run down the hall with her eyes closed, sometimes running into the wall, which is hilarious!  Hadley has no fear...well except viciously barking dogs. She can climb up on things now so we occasionally find her sitting on the table next to our couch.

She seems to be more gentle with other babies and toddlers. Although once in a while she likes to point out that they also have eyes and puts a little too much effort into it. She didn't care much for her Halloween costume but she enjoyed the decorations and loved trick or treating. She pulled the candy in and out of her little bucket repeatedly.

Hadley still LOVES to read. Sometimes she'll go in her room by herself and pull book after book off of the shelf and sit there, flipping through the pages, reading out loud to herself. I do have to say she has learned a lot from books and can now identify things when asked where they are. I realize some of that is memorization but she memorizes really fast. She's learning how to say new words every week it seems. Her latest ones are 'nope' and 'bye.' It's so cute how she uses different tones and expressions when she's babbling too, like she's having a real grown-up conversation.

I think she is going to be a rule-follower like her mother. She seems to learn pretty fast what she can and can't do. Sure she still tests the limits from time to time. But even things like her cup falling over (her sippy cups spill when they tip...seems to defeat the purpose, but they do nonetheless) she knows she needs to pick it up. This also goes for any sort of bottle that she sees tipped over. She says, "uh oh" and turns it up right. I predict she's going to have a certain way of doing things and a specific place for things as she grows older. Sometimes I'm a little nervous about our 2nd kid....are they going to be complete opposites?

I am extremely grateful and humbled that I get to stay home and watch this little girl grow up into a big girl. She's absolutely precious!

An update on my writing

I'm a little behind on my assignments still. It feels like once I catch up then something big happens that prevents me from working on it for a week or two and I get waaaayyyyy behind. Just about everyone that has read what I've written has encouraging things to say as well as some criticism. What's most discouraging about writing is it's sooooo hard to get things published. With that said let me say this, I could pay just about any publishing company to publish my book. What's so difficult is the marketing. I may have a book published but that doesn't mean stores are going to sell it. I'd have to contact book stores in order to sell it and then I'd have to convince them my book is worth taking space up on their shelves. I feel like everything I read from professional writers or agents/editors is negative news. I even have a link on this blog to a literary agents blog and I've recently stopped reading it. I feel like it's the same thing...."it takes a lot of work and the odds of someone accepting your manuscript are pretty low."To me it's all discouraging. I don't want to try and cover up the reality of it but I also don't want to be so bombarded with negative information I just give up.

Anyway, I sent two manuscripts off to a well-known Christian children's magazine, Clubhouse. It's published by Focus on the Family. One story was a short historical fiction account of a child who lived through the Dust Bowl, a period I have a lot of interest in. The other was the Fish and Loaves bible story told from the viewpoint of the little boy who supplied the food to Jesus. This boy is only mentioned in the gospel of John. I felt confident in my stories, that they were well written and met the interests of the audience I had intended them for. However, I was not confident in their acceptance by the magazine. First of all because it was my first time submitting actual manuscripts and I highly doubt I did everything perfectly. Unfortunately, they don't give you feedback on technical mistakes. Second, this is a fairly popular magazine so I imagine there are A LOT of submissions; competition was high. About 6 weeks after sending them I received a letter in the mail giving me the news. It took me a while to figure out what the envelopes had in them and why I was getting and then I remembered I had sent some self-addressed envelopes with my manuscripts. My heart skipped a few beats as I realized this could be a turning point in my early writing career or it could be the start of my many rejection letters. It was the latter.

I was disappointed, sure. But like I've said so many times before I expected to be rejected, so I got over the disappointment shortly thereafter and decided I could now look for other publications to submit to. One piece of good news in all this is on the rejection letter, which was more of a check list of reasons they were not accepting it, they had simply checked that my stories did not fit their editorial needs at the time. I then scanned the other options and realized my news wasn't so bad. Other options could have been checked, indicating my manuscript was not up to par or needed a lot of work, thankfully it was just that my stories did not fit what they were working on at the time. I did look up their needs and requirements on their website and while my stories fit that particular list, I realize the website could be outdated. One other piece of information on the rejection letter was the magazine receives 75 submissions a month and only accepts 4 a year! The odds are pretty low. Had I'd seen that on the website when I was looking for their requirements I probably would have not sent my manuscripts in.

I'm glad I took the risk of sending my stories off. It's not as scary or as difficult as it seems. I now need to find some other publications who may take my stories and keep writing. I just need to keep writing.

A Blog A Day

Rumor has it, it's National Blog Posting month. Just like any other made up holiday/special dedicated month bloggers have arbitrarily claimed November. These crazy people commit to posting 1 blog for every day of November. So I thought I'd join in. Why? Like I have so much to say. Well I figured with my writing courses I need to be writing every day and this is a good way to get myself motivated. I have a few other blogger pals who are doing this, Ami and Nicole, as I'm sure many more are out in cyber space. Join us! Even if you feel like you'd run out of things to say, I guarantee you could take your status from facebook and make an entire blog out of it. Besides I like to read blogs. That should be enough.

Here are a few upcoming titles I hope to blog on:

A followup on my previous 'Burn Out' post
Reflecting on some bible reading
My writing journey thus far
Update on Hadley

There it is folks! I can tell you're hanging on the edge of your seat for tomorrows post.