Followup on 'Burn Out'

I had previously blogged on how I was feeling burnt out with the several ministries we are involved in. I was discouraged, tired, and had no hope for the future of these ministries. Toward the end of my blog I had stated I felt my dependence on God to do his thing was lacking and I needed a perspective change. Well, God spoke up.

This past weekend at church Pastor Blumenthal was speaking on carrying one an other's burdens and being aware of the load we carry. I don't think the overall sermon was meant to convey what I needed to hear but there were little gold nuggets throughout where God reminded me he is faithful. One phrase Roger kept repeating was "I get to..." instead of "I have to..." I can tell you with complete honesty in the past year I have often felt like "I had to" serve in these ministries and accomplish certain things. The obligations were weighing heavy on me. I believe this weight became so heavy I lost sight of what God was doing and was capable of doing in each of these areas.

After two years in our neighborhood ministry (which passed August of 2009) we were hoping to have an established team full of neighbors and beginning to offer classes or home groups where neighbors could learn and grow from each other. Where were we? Our relationship with the neighborhood church had fallen apart. Our KEY relationship with the neighborhood association was hanging by a thread and our own team from Pantano was experiencing personal roadblocks at each turn. See our relationships with those already in the neighborhood were not due to personality differences, it was due to daily life. Those in the church either did not live in the neighborhood and did feel invested or were already committed to the max and couldn't possibly devote any more time to our mission. The neighborhood association was barely alive when we started working in the neighborhood. They're a great resource because then we can tap in to the city resources but it's hard when the association president has her phone disconnected on a regular basis and the city is cutting funding so meeting notices are eliminated. our last resort began in 2010 and that was to work with the neighborhood school. If we couldn't reach the neighborhood through the school we felt like maybe it just wasn't going to happen. Where was God in all this? He was there, but I don't we allowed him to do much. We would meet and pray but I know there were times I'd walk into a meeting in the neighborhood not trusting God would be present. It has been so difficult to get neighbors to participate. How do you compete with single-parent families who have to work two jobs? They don't have time to meet their neighbors. How do you get an invalid senior who has been robbed several times and seen more drug transactions and street-walkers in the past 5 years then I will in my life time to come out of their house and be friendly? I can't, but God can. I realize not every person in the neighborhood will buy in to what we're doing. I want to look at this ministry through the eyes of "I get to..." I get to meet these people, I get to watch God impact their lives, I get to see children have hope of a future, I get to see neighbors take care of each. I wish this one sermon changed all that in a matter of an hour but it didn't. It's still a process for me and I continue to pray about it.

Starting a new YM group was a little difficult. Trying to get a place at the church reserved, getting the group advertised in the different medias were just a few of the initial frustrations. Then we only had one couple show up. My fears of hurting people's feelings and turning them off to a group where they could be so blessed started seeping through. We have split our group several times and have not done it without awkwardness and a little pain. I wanted this time to be different, I knew it could work, but you need more than one couple to have a life group. After week two of five I was starting to think we would need a back up plan. By week three I was discouraged. I was sitting out on the church patio by myself waiting for other couples to show up and up walks a new couple! I laughed a little inside as I pictured God standing there, smiling, "See. See what I can do. Just give me a chance to work and I'll show you how great things can happen." Two couples is still not enough to have a life group but these two couples are willing to work and wait on more couples. I feel encouraged and know that God will work in that group. I get to be a part of life group who truly cares about one another, where God uses each person in their own way, and will do what it takes to serve each other. I get to be a part of creating a new YM group when so many young, newly married couples can get lost in between college-age ministries and family/children ministries. I believe this ministry will be a great example to so many in regards to what a difference a life group can make in a person's life. Already, among the pastors at our church, we are well-known as a thriving, positive group.

Pastor Blumenthal taught from Galatians 6 and it was verse 9 that hit me: "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." I want to be a part of that, I don't want to give up. I want to trust God to do his work because he can do so much more than I can with much better results. In a book I read recently, I believe it was Revolution by George Barna, he said something to the effect of God is already there doing the work...let's join him.