Brain Dump

There are lots of things I'd like to blog about in depth but with so many thoughts whirling around I can't focus on just one. So here I will dump them in no particular order. 

Writing. I took a writing course about a year ago in order to work on getting some writing published and while it was a great course with lots of great information I was unable to have anything published. I didn't submit too many articles (they suggest articles before books in the course) so really I can say I was rejected maybe 4 times which is nothing apparently in the world of publishing. However, it's a dream I still have if for nothing else to say I did it. I haven't handled rejection well in the past and I feel like this is a good avenue to work on not taking so much personal in life. I hope to get at least one article published in the next year and at some point take the next writing course which will focus more on fiction writing. 

Kids. My kids have been sick every other week this year I think. I know they must be tired of it and I'm tired of it. They're both doing well overall. Emma is almost 15 months and while she's so close to walking she still won't attempt it on her own unless it's between Jon and I. I'm anxious to talk with her Dr. at her next appointment to see what he says. I also think her weight will be a problem because she's not even up to 17lbs yet so she's pretty tiny. Without giving her a feeding tube I don't know how to make her eat more. She can be pretty picky and easily distracted thus cutting her meals short. Her vocabulary seems to be taking off though. Obviously the context of the situation helps us understand what she's saying so most outsiders probably think she's just jabbering away but she's picking up on stuff. Hadley just finished up swim lessons and I think it was a growing experience for her. It took her the first 5 lessons to warm up to her teacher and then we had a few makeups we had to do with a different teacher and the next session meant a new teacher too so she had to learn to adjust to different teachers very quickly. While it wasn't without tears she did a good job and we hope she learned a good lesson about praying because we did that with her a lot before each swim lesson. She was a star when it came to floating on her back and got really good about putting her face under water. Anyway, we're done until next summer. I'll be curious to see how she does next year. 

Homeschool. I think most people who will be reading this know we have been considering homeschooling for the past 1.5 or 2 years. We've decided after lots of research, prayer and soul searching (mainly from me since I'll be doing most of the teaching) to move forward with it. I'll probably do a post at some point in the future about why we decided to do this but for now we're working on setting a routine and figuring things out. We're not doing any formal curriculum at this point but we're working on the days of the week and going through a devotional on the fruits of the spirit. I started out with this great calendar time notebook that included site words, word families and such but it quickly became too monotonous for Hadley. I think it was a combination of my poor  simple planning so we're working slowly to readjust it. I had some goals set in my mind that Jon and I had talked about for the year and I think it's important for her to learn the days of the week and the months of the year for now. Next year when she's 5 we'll look into starting more formal curriculum. I'm excited, scared, self-conscious....you name it I've run the gamut of emotions but we're trusting God to lead us on this adventure. We will be learning just as much as the girls I think not only in academic content but in character development too. 

God. I have had a severe thirst for God's word lately. I went to the Global Leadership Summit at our church and that doused the fire with fuel. I'm still working on a reading plan on my kindle that goes through the Bible chronologically and I've really enjoyed it. I'm finally in the New Testament and working to pay more attention to what Christ has to say about things. I'm still mulling over my previous post about truth and I haven't reached a conclusion. I'm sure it'll come as long as I keep seeking God's perspective. There were two main ideas I took from the Leadership Summit this year that I'll be focusing on in my daily walk and those are the influence I have on the people around me (that is to say influencing people to grow closer to God) and being courageous in following God (Joshua 1:9). "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” All this encouragement and thirst for God has brought Satan out in the open. This has been a rough week for one reason or another and at times I get an out-of-body glimpse and wonder why this is such a taxing week. It doesn't seem that much different than other weeks. Satan. He's caught onto my thirst for God's wisdom and a desire to do what eventually becomes counter-cultural in life and he's been working to destroy it. All it would take for me is a negative attitude and I refuse to give in. 

That's it for now...brain dump over. 

Truth

15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
Ephesians 4:15-16


How do you speak the truth in love? I've never heard how. I've rarely seen examples of it (except in Jesus but he was a respected authority in regards to how God wants us to live our lives. Am I a respected authority in that? At which point will I become that?) I suppose it's encouraging to see people were extremely defensive when they were approached by Jesus as well. I've seen people respectfully share their opinions, although it's hard to say it's truth. I always shy away from speaking the truth, or my perception of it, for several reasons. One reason being we, as humans, immediately react in a defensive manner. I've done it and I've seen countless others do it. I also begin to question my motives. Maybe that's the "in love" part. Am I doing it to help a brother or sister grow closer to God? Am I doing it because I'm annoyed or frustrated? Am I doing it to expose an other's wrong doings or sin (and aren't we, as Christians, to expose each others' sins?)

All I ever hear is to offer grace of which I'm also working on. I do feel a responsibility to help others grow closer to God and speak the truth in love I'm just at a loss of how to do it. 

Have you done it? Seen it done? Had it done to you?

Edited 7/18/13
Now I'm wondering if my interpretation of 'truth' is not exposing areas in need of growth, but of the Gospel. We should be speaking about the Gospel in a loving manner. Maybe???

Emma @ 9 months

Emma had her 9 month check up this morning. It wasn't as perfect and as easy as others but overall Emma's in good health.

She's always been a quick eater and especially as she's gotten older she's become more distracted. Well her numbers show it. She has dropped to the 2nd% in weight so we are having to supplement. Most likely it is just my milk supply. It's all still hard to hear even with the 2nd kid. Yet again, I feel guilty like I've been starving my kid. Everyone comments on how tiny she is and now I'll just think to myself well that's because she's been underfed. However, she never complained like she was still hungry. I thought I'd handle it much better but I'm not, although I'm sure I'll be over it soon. It's partly frustrating because we only have 3 months to go but on the other hand at least we only have 3 months to go. It's one of those things I don't have a ton of control over. Thank God for formula! Ok I'm done with my pity party.

Emma also has an ear infection which we did not know about. She had not been more fussy than normal and when she did fuss one day I thought it was teething. She's had no fever and just a slight runny nose, although it had been clear. Weird.

She also has some nasty rash/scratches/.....we weren't really sure what it was on her lower back but we got some topical ointment for that. Thankfully her iron and vitamin D levels were fine.

It was just a crazy appointment. She's had such good checkups and now there were all these issues coming up at once, we were not used to that. So I'm grateful for all the check ups that do go well. I know we have a healthy daughter who is growing, just not very fast. :)

She's such a smiley baby and and so happy to be crawling around. It seemed like within two weeks she went from pushing her chest off the floor to sitting herself up to crawling. I'm wondering how walking will go.

Emma has her two front bottom teeth and it almost looks like some of the k-9's and such are getting close. I haven't noticed anything on top yet.

She is eating solids pretty well. She chokes down her veggies and is not a huge fan of a regular banana but so far just about everything we've given her she'll eat. Emma LOVESSSSS Hadley. Her big sister can get her to smile all the time! It's really fun to watch and I so hope they continue loving each other as they get older.

Stats for those interested:
Length - 28.25" (70%)
Weight - 14lbs 3oz (2%)
Head - 42.5" (15%)

The Girls

I figured I could do an update on the girls.

Hadley is growing up fast. We've felt like just recently her scope of understanding the world around her has expanded exponentially. She has been asking LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of questions even after we've told her we don't know a certain answer. She's interested in just about everything, but loves painting and cooking. She doesn't like to be left out of anything and loves to play with her friends. She's really into Caillou, Deigo and Dora and plays with them when she's not around her real friends. She also adores her little sister and always wants to help with Emma. Hadley's new talent is making up songs...just like her father. We bought her a kids devotional bible and have been reading it just once a week but she will remember so many details from all the stories and we love having conversations about God and Jesus with her. We've really been working on helping her cope with frustration instead of just sticking her in time out or ignoring her. People have asked if we'll be putting Hadley in preschool. At this point no. We are slowly exploring all options of schooling so that we can be well educated on all the different options and we're still undecided. We're constantly praying about where God wants to use her and Emma when it comes time to make a decision.

Here are a few recent snippets of conversations:

She will jump out from behind her curtains in her closet and say, "Hi everyone. We're going to have a show tonight," and proceed to sing and dance for us.

After a conversation on Heaven and going there to see Jesus and God:
H- "I'm going to take my bible to show them."
Me - "Show who?" (since we had just finished discussing a lot of people will be there)
H - "God and Jesus"
Me - "I think they'll like that."
H - "What kind of toys will they have there?"

Driving in the car I hear her singing: "Emma has to drive to church....what? what?........Emma has to drive to church in a car.....what? what?"

Emma will be 8 months old on the 21st!!! Ahhhh! I can't believe how fast the one year mark is coming. She is such a sweet little girl, however she is becoming more vocal in expressing her dislike of things. She is still a little unsteady when sitting by herself so we can't really set her down and walk away yet. She's getting really good at pushing up on her stomach and even a little on her feet so I think crawling will come pretty fast after mastering sitting. It's been difficult to not compare these physical milestones with Hadley's, as Hadley was sitting well by 7 months. I guess comparing is a never ending battle. She's a great sleeper, really no complaints there, even though it was a little harder,at least for me, to do the baby wise routine. But yet again it has proved a wonderful tool for our family. I finally dropped the late night feeding because it was interrupting her sleep and I think this set her up for a whole night of interruptions. Since dropping that late feeding she's been sleeping much better without many interruptions as little as they were. She will laugh so easily at Hadley. Most car rides are suddenly filled with both girls just laughing at each other for no reason at all. I love it! She seems to be a little more picky with food than Hadley was so we may end up having a tougher time getting her to try new things. Being picky definitely comes from me. She will snuggle sometimes so I'm soaking it up! Maybe that's why she's been a little late in sitting up. Her first tooth came through last week. One of the bottom fronts and its neighbor is close behind. She wasn't unbearable while it was coming through although she of course seemed to only want me when she was tired and a little more fussy in the evenings but with a little ibuprofen she slept just fine. We are so excited to watch her grow and feel blessed to have two wonderful little girls.

God is the Same Through the Ages

I've been reading through the Bible in a chronological order which I have truly enjoyed. It has unraveled more as a story of God rather than a confusing jumble of events for me. Once I finish I think I'm going to start it again because I know each time I will learn more and more. Yes, I have grown up in the church and my faith became my own in high school but 15 years later I am still learning more about my God. It's a testimony to the depth of God's personality.

Right now I'm working my way through 2 Chronicles, 2 Kings and the prophets as they all go hand in hand chronologically. I'm constantly amazed at the apparent stupidity of Israel and the chosen people God made them to be. They would hear directly, audibly from God and his prophets yet they continually, constantly, and without hesitancy turned their backs. Today people think if they actually heard God's voice they'd believe. I'm not so sure about that. But I digress.

The point of this particular blog is to focus on God's judgement seen in the Old Testament. Time and again when Israel turned away from God he would send prophets to tell them they were going to be wiped out, a plague would come to ravage their towns, their soldiers would be handed over to the enemy, you name it God would send his wrath to remind them he is their God.

So my question. Does God still do this to us today? I know with Jesus came a new covenant and grace but I can't imagine consequences and judgement are no longer a part of God's character. Do we have natural disasters, diseases, death as a result of God's wrath? Sure some of that is a natural consequence of sin. I have a feeling I've heard the answer to this at some point, which is no, God does not still send his wrath and judgement on us with Jesus' sacrifice. Thus the whole point of Judgement day.

Thoughts?

Repurposing My Habits

Repurposing is very popular now with furniture and antiques. Taking something old with a specific purpose and refinishing and even remodeling it for a whole new purpose. This is what I plan to do this new year with my habits. I'm not going to drop bad habits (as noble as that is) and I'm not going to create better ones, I'm going to take the good habits I have and do them with a better purpose.

I don't really make New Year's resolutions. It seems weird to me to wake up one day, which happens to be like most, just a different date, and vow to live better or do things differently. Why didn't I do that every day of last year? Each new day is a day where I should be saying, "Today I will live better. Today I will do things differently." I guess I don't place that much importance on New Year's resolutions because I know I might have days or weeks where I fail miserably and I don't want that to make the entire year a failure. I try to take one day at a time and if the next day is a little better than the previous I've succeeded.

Anywho, that said I do take some time to reflect and think about how I can be a better person and glorify God more. This year I want my habits to be repurposed. It's easy to say I'm going to eat better but my purpose is to lose weight. Perhaps if I repurposed my eating habits to be more healthy for my children I'd be more likely to work through the change. I'm going to repurpose my habit of relaxing (a.k.a. being lazy) not in order to accomplish more but to be a better steward of the time God has given me. I'm going to repurpose my prayer habits not because God invited me to pray but because I want to know Him more intimately.

I have a few other things in mind but it's a catchphrase I want to hold onto this year.

Did you make some resolutions? Do you keep them?

Taking Your Thoughts Captive

Something someone said on Facebook recently brought this verse to mind. Sadly, there has been a lot of negativity floating around Facebook what with the election and all. It gets so wearing to be around and even more so to constantly read about. Unfortunately, a lot of it is from Christians.

I understand negativity. We can't be happy all the time and to be honest I've often thought I was a glass half empty kind of person myself. I've lately been striving to look at things in a more positive perspective and working even harder to remind myself daily that God is faithful. 

That's not to say it won't take a lot of work on my part. In 2 Corinthians 10:5 it says, "we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." That's powerful and difficult. It's very easy to allow our emotions to control us, our thoughts, our actions and our outlook on life, but emotions are unreliable. So we are told to take them captive, we need to control them, and make them obedient to Christ and his reign.

I've learned quickly when I give in to my emotions and thoughts, more often then not I wind up focused only on myself and what I do not have. Becoming very discontent leads to anger, sadness, self-righteousness, bitterness....it's just unhealthy. It's more clear and urgent to me now because I have a husband and kids who are also affected by it. 

I hope during the holiday season you and I can learn to control our negative thoughts and feelings and align them with Christ's, where they are full of joy (not happiness but at peace knowing Christ is in control). But even more I hope we can make this a daily occurrence throughout the year. Our actions and words reflect our heart attitude. What's yours like today?