Thursday, April 14, 2011

You've got a hold on me

This will be a short post, but it's one I don't really want to put as a Facebook status so I figured this is a good place to do it.

If there is one thing in my life that can really take hold of my thoughts, emotions, and even affect my relationship with Christ, it's my relationships with other people.

If I think I've offended someone or upset someone, it's all I can think about until it's smoothed over. If someone says something that bothers me, I can't get over it until I feel like I've figured out why they said it. I say it gets a hold of me, but usually I only let it take control for a week at most. I can't stand to wallow or play the victim for too long. It takes too much energy and robs me of good times.

In the past I would work extremely hard to please everyone, now I only work at pleasing people. I praise God for helping me grow in this area as it has had a more positive effect on my relationship with Him, however it still lingers.

I'm learning to trust God more in this area. Allowing Him to stretch me beyond what I am capable of doing on my own. He is faithful.

Ok so this was a little longer than I first thought, so I guess it was a good thing I blogged about it instead of putting it as a Facebook status.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I feel like Chicken tonight, like Chicken tonight....

Here's a new favorite crock pot recipe: From Fix it and Forget it 5 Ingredient Slow Cooker cookbook.

Lemon Pepper Chicken and Veggies


2-3 Chicken drumsticks (skinned)
2-3 Chicken thighs (skinned)
4-5 Red potatoes chopped in 1 inch cubes
4-5 Carrots cut in 1/2" discs
2 Cups of Frozen Green Beans (optional)
Chopped Garlic (optional)
14 oz Can of chicken broth
Lemon Pepper

Sprinkle lemon pepper on both sides of chicken pieces.
Layer carrots, potatoes, green beans and garlic if using, and then chicken. 
Pour in Chicken broth and cook on low 4-5 hours or until chicken falls off the bone and veggies are cooked through. If you're crockpot doesn't cook very fast or very hot, you may need to increase the cooking time.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Justice

There are days when I just want justice to reign down on the heads of those who think they're entitled. Is it because I'm jealous? No...well not usually...maybe like 2% of the time. Do I care what they think about me? Not really. I care about what they think about themselves. Does that even make sense?

Those drivers who think the roads were made just for them. I'm so glad they're passionate about reminding the rest of us nobodies we shouldn't have even considered driving down the same road as them. Those who chase after materialistic things like new clothes, new TV's, new cars....anything they really can't afford but 5 different banks and 5 different credit card companies told them they could. Go ahead flaunt that new car on Facebook to all your friends and then please also flash us your monthly car payment added to your gas bill and insurance bill because you "worked so hard you deserve this debt...errr...I mean car". If you worked so hard why are you going in to debt?

Those customers who think return policies don't apply to them. You know what? You're right all return policies are completely made up and just for show. Really those policies are for the stores to make more money off of the rest of us suckers, it has absolutely nothing to do with creating boundaries and protecting their business. Those who feel their schedule is more important than anyone else's. Ironically, the "real" drivers fall into this category too. Why should you have to wait? You've got a lot to get done and the rest of us are just dilly-dallying around. We'll move over so you can get on with your busy day.

I know justice belongs to God. And boy, will those people get it. After I go through my rant, all in my head of course, I remember I'll be getting what I deserve too. I know I've probably fallen into each one of these categories too at some point. I would hope it's not often or for a long amount of time but I know I have a poor attitude as well.  What drives you crazy, only to realize you do the same thing?

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

News Flash - Parents Compensated for Hazardous Pay

Washington, DC - Just this week Congress passed a law for all parents to be compensated for hazardous duty pay. Certain military personnel rightfully receive a hazardous duty incentive pay for their dangerous positions defending America and now parents will join the ranks.

Cara Hasbrouck, mother of a 22 month old girl, pushed for the compensation to be signed into law. "People without kids may not realize the danger parents put themselves in every day to nurture the lives of the upcoming generations. It really is a war zone out there." The Hasbroucks and other parents around the nation banded together to bring awareness to the situation through their coalition aptly named Parents for Hazardous Pay (aka PHazP). John Smith of Columbus, Ohio says, "If society expects us to raise the next cancer-fighting doctor or the future President of America, we're going to need some support."

What exactly is so hazardous about raising kids? "You don't know what might come at you," shares Lisa Green of Cheyenne Wyoming. "My husband takes hits from all sides and angles in his groin. I've broken an ankle after stepping on one of their toys and sliding down the stairs in the middle of the night. And don't get me started about the damage done by breast-feeding those little rug rats."

In their presentation to Congress PHazP shared evidence that even from day one, newborns wreak havoc on the world around them.  "Never mind the fact that a woman has just given birth to a mere 8 lb. human (and that's just the average weight) and both parents lose more sleep in the next 3 months than they ever got in the previous 18 or more years. Infants, toddlers, children, and teenagers can each cause destruction to the health of their care-takers. From being punched, slapped, flicked, and or kicked in the groin or other sensitive areas, to gouged out eyes, pulled on lips and hair, shredded nipples, scratched faces, head-butted noses, sore feet from toys, ripped ear lobes from pulled on earrings, heart-attacks from beginning drivers and broken hearts in empty-nesters. There is a plethora of damage done to a parent's well being."

PHazP is seeking any sort of compensation available. Tax refunds, discounted hospital or doctor visits,  or a weekly check. "Really anything would do. We're just looking to get the word out there about the hazards of raising the future generation," Hasbrouck says. And Congress agreed. While all the details have yet to be determined on how the actual compensation occurs, they all at least agreed on one thing: being a parent is dangerous.

When asked why anyone would have a kid after hearing about this, the entire group agreed, "Because without them life would be just a little more boring and empty. We love our kids even if it means to death from slipping on the one forgotten marble in the middle of the night."

Being a parent is dangerous, because you end up loving your child so much you would do just about anything for them.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The other side

I just saw a news story about a school in Vail being accused of not doing enough for the bullying issue. Now, because I worked in that district I can attest to the fact they do have a bullying program in place, several different approaches in fact. As a teacher what's more frustrating to me in the whole thing is how parents react.

It's sad for me to see a child being hurt by another child, even if it's not the technical definition of bullying, which is pretty obscure to begin with, teasing between children is not what anyone wants. As the parents become involved, as I think they should be, can only worsen the problem. Some parents handle it well while the majority flip out and become irrational, irresponsible, and ridiculous.

The parents in general are the ones who have asked for teachers and districts hands to be tied when it came to discipline. I certainly don't condone physical discipline in a public setting such as a classroom, however parents send mixed messages about how they think discipline should be dealt with. What is it? We're damned if we do and we're damned if we don't.

I can't tell you how many bullying issues I had to deal with and how many times parents thought we weren't doing enough, even after suspension. The school has a piece of responsibility in dealing with the issue that I believe. Essentially what it comes down to is the victim's parents would prefer the bully to be expelled and in some situations that's just not able to happen.

When you get to the heart of the issue it comes to parenting. Kids who are bullies often see that at home, perhaps there is a mental imbalance, or there is no guidance at all. Either way, something is happening at home where the child is not learning how to behave appropriately towards others, yet it is up to the school to parent.

Unfortunately this is how it works these days. Schools are expected to teach kids everything, behavior, education, how to stay healthy, about sex, about relationships, about religion or lack thereof.....shall I go on? What if as a society we called on parents to be responsible for actually raising their own kids? For keeping parents accountable when it came to teaching their children how to be part of society? Yes, I know some adults don't even know how to do this but there is the majority who do and yet constantly place responsibility on someone else. This is one of the laws I don't like public schools, it's very hard to expel a student from school or deny them attendance. There are a lot of issues here, like I know expelling them from school doesn't solve the issue for the bully but it would certainly be a wake up call for some families. Parents have to stop expecting schools to fix everything. Again, yes, schools have a piece of the responsibility, but it all begins at home and without support and a good foundation at home, schools don't stand a chance.

In short: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR KIDS

Can I get an Amen?

Saturday, February 26, 2011

More of what I've learned

Here are a few more things I didn't have a chance to add to my previous blog.

1. LISTEN. Be willing to listen to advice. You don't have to follow it but have a willingness to listen because you never know what you might hear. I struggled with this because I knew what I wanted to happen in being a parent and I felt like I had enough common sense to get by. I wish now I had listened more. I don't necessarily have any regrets about decisions we've made in regards to Hadley but I think having an open mind to other's advice and experiences makes you a better parent.

2. LAUGH. It's pretty easy for me most of the time, in fact it's how I generally handle stressful situations, whether that's good or bad is besides the point. Hadley had a melt down the other day getting into the car from the grocery cart and all I could was laugh. I practically had to hold her down so I could buckle her in the carseat. I then sat in the driver's seat and waited for her to calm down so I could finish buckling her in. People probably walked by wondering why I was laughing to myself in my car. When she threw full out tantrums on the plane I wanted to just laugh so hard. I don't always do it, but that's usually if I'm already having a bad day or I'm super tired.

Monday, February 21, 2011

What I've Learned So Far...

I know it's been a while since I blogged but while I was getting Hadley dressed this morning a thought came to me. I remember not long ago talking about how Hadley wrestles us after a shower and while we get her dressed. I liked to refer to it as the alligator death roll because that's exactly what she'd do....twist her entire body while screaming. It was quite the scene. We worked really hard to remain consistent in making her stay on the changing table while we got a diaper on, lotioned (I know it's not a real word) her up, and got her dressed. Now, we don't really have any issues. She knows what to expect and we get it done quickly so she can get up and play.

So I thought, I've learned a few things thus far in parenting and I should write them down in case in the near future, or far off future, I forget them.

1. CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENCY. I think teaching helped me get a head start in this (Jon seems to have a natural ability to do it) but keeping a very consistent routine and expectations, no matter how much Hadley protested, was, has been, and, I believe, will be key in her learning good behaviors. For example her getting dressed, I feel like the consistency in making her follow through with the routine has helped her learn we have to do these things and the more we cooperate the faster it goes. Consistency has played a huge part in sleeping, eating, and daily tasks like getting dressed. This is also the one we still have a lot of learning to do when it comes to correcting her bad behavior like scratching or throwing tantrums. It's not easy but I have come to realize how important it is.

2. (When kids start talking and understanding more) Don't give Hadley options when she really doesn't have an option. I realized I ask Hadley too many questions like, "Hadley do you want to go to bed?" She doesn't really have a choice when it's time for bed so why am I asking her like she does have an option? I want to give her options in life so she learns discernment, self-control, and confidence but sometimes as a kid she just doesn't get an option.

3. Say it once! I often thought counting, "I'm going to count to 3 and you better listen," or telling a child multiple times what I want them to do was ok. Now I'm starting to rethink this. I heard someone say you should only have to tell your child once and if they don't do it after the first time then you give out consequences. How much energy would we save if we only said things once to our kids and followed through with it? Would the kids also respond better? I think about the times pre-Hadley where I told students, "You have until 3 to get this done..." and they would take every second I allowed them. Deep down I was giving myself more time because I didn't want to have to discipline them. I see now that's really a selfish tactic. I realize with little kids you need to repeat things once or twice because their comprehension isn't quite there yet but once they are able to understand simple requests and commands I feel it's safe to ask it of them once and then give out consequences if necessary.

This works for us and WE'RE STILL LEARNING, we're not perfect in any of these. I realize it doesn't work for everyone, although I think it can work for most people. It seems to come down to if you're comfortable with your child's behavior and you feel confident in your parenting then continue doing what you're doing. If things aren't going well maybe you need to change something, but that's an assessment only you can make. Don't forget about consistency though. I've found being consistent and seeing results may take a month or two (the older they are, the longer it will take). I also have to think to myself, "Is this a battle worth fighting?"

What are some things you've learned about parenting?