Hypocrisy pt 2

Most outsiders think that Christians are hypocritical and for good reason. I often struggle with this label though. People want or expect Christians to be real, authentic and genuine, and I agree we should be. So there are times in life where I say one thing and then do another for whatever reason. This makes me a hypocrite. I've done it, I still do it, and I know I will probably do it again. To be real I'm admitting I'm a hypocrite, so does that make me less of a Christian?

I understand these expectations come from the high standards that Christians are to live up to and the standards they so often, harshly and unfairly, push on others. If Christians expect outsiders to live up to the standards of Christ this is unfair. Even Paul says in 1 Cor. 5:12, "What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church?...God will judge those outside."

How do I reconcile being real to those outsiders watching me while still living up to the standards Christ has set up for us and as society expects us? I don't want to seem lazy in my pursuit of righteousness. I don't want to excuse my episodes of hypocrisy. I want those watching to know I don't claim perfection, I claim perseverance. I keep working towards the end result, to live up to what Christ has modeled for me. I know this is the best path.

In the presence of God

(I know I have a post to do about hypocrisy but I'm on vacation and I have other, more relevant, topics to write about.)

I did an internship at my church, working with the involvement pastor. One of his responsibilities and creations was a spiritual gifts class. Since I was his apprentice I was charged with becoming familiar with it and learning more about spiritual gifts and how God has designed His creation. Upon researching and studying I found a list created by someone on the ways people are drawn to worship. There were several different ways which were identified that people draw near to God. A few examples are: through music, through art, through intellect, through nature, through care giving. This is similar to those personality tests.

Anyway, to my point, I LOVE to worship God through nature; I'm a naturalist as the list names it. When I'm outside in nature, I see the wonders God has created. When I look at the ocean in its vastness I am in awe and realize, as much is possible, how big God really is. When I look up at the stars or into a telescope I see the artist in God. The tops of mountains are a display of His strength. To see cells in a microscope or watch animals live with what seems like hardly a thought, I see His perfection. I can watch streams flow peacefully and I know my God is a God of peace. I hear birds calling, elk bugling, and trees blowing and I can hear the voice of God. When I am in nature I am in the presence of God.

Sunday, yesterday, on our drive up to the cabin we drove through a canyon that was full of green plants and grey rocks. It was so intricately laid out as if each rock was placed by hand with much thought put into it. Being the monsoon season we climbed the winding mountain road in a thick white cloud and light rain. It was so beautiful and at the same time, a little frightening.

To the right was a sheer cliff and we could see nothing on that side. The fog had worked its way in between each blade of each leaf on the plants. It curled itself around the fingers of the jagged rocks. It filled the canyon with moist air. There was such a quietness about it, which is inexplicable. It was ominous yet peaceful. It was breathtaking and cold, powerful yet gentle. To me this cloud that surrounded every free inch of space in the canyon was like the presence of God.

The cloud seemed to swallow up the canyon below us, the ground around us, and the sky above us. When I think of the presence of God this is it. God swallows me up with His power and gentleness. He can fill me up, wrap His arms around me, and create a quietness in my soul that is unmatched. I can do nothing but stand in awe of Him. I regret not getting a picture of it, however I revel in the idea that no picture can capture the true beauty of what we saw and that it was a time for me to be in the presence of God.

Hypocrisy

This word has popped up a lot recently. It makes me cringe. I truly try to live an authentic life in everything I do. Yes, I will admit I have done things I didn't really want to do or I'm sure there have been times where I've said one thing and done another thing. I don't claim perfection in this. So this is my current wrestling with the issue.

I'm reading a book called UnChristian by David Kinnaman. Essentially, he shares his findings of lots of research done by the Barna Group. They surveyed 16-29 year olds on their perceptions of Christians. The book is a little dry as it discusses so many numbers, however the results are sobering. One of the first negative perceptions (and most of the information collected was negative toward Christians) was that they are hypocritical.

Just last night in our bible study we were talking about an instance where someone was driving with a K-Love sticker (a Christian radio station) on their bumper, flippin' another driver the bird. I'd say that's hypocritical. So we all laughed as we collectively agreed with the statement, "And that's why I don't put Christian bumper stickers on my car." We don't want to be held to that standard, not having the bumper stickers makes it easier for us to be jerks on the road. According to society, it's worse when a Christian flips someone off then when a non-Christian does it? What's the difference?

So why is it as Christians we are held to a higher standard? Do non-Christians really know the standards to which Jesus called us? Or are they basing this judgement on how WE tell THEM the so-called right ways of living? This ties in so closely with being judgmental.

I'll unpack this more later!

Indecisive

I know my blog background changed again, even after my little poll. I'm just trying things out.

It's me time

I'm going to be a little transparent, mainly because putting it into written words helps me overcome it. I'm in a season of life where I just want what I want, not what's really best for me.

Here's a superficial explanation. I've been trying to work out on our elliptical to become more healthy and lose a little weight. I want to sabotage my efforts though by pigging out on junk food. My purpose is not really to sabotage my work but simply because I want to indulge in sugary goodness. Or for instance, I'd like to re-do my entire wardrobe, something that is not at all necessary or being a good steward of our money. That's not so bad, you might say. Again, these are superficial examples.

To get a little deeper and a little more personal, as most may know, we are working in a neighborhood transformation team at church. I just don't want to do it anymore. I have thoughts of wanting to spend my time doing things for me. My passion has been overrun by my selfishness. When I think of serving other people I just have no desire to do it. This is what scares me the most.

I'm really excited about our trip to Costa Rica, Pittsburgh, and even camping. I'm loving it, wishing we spent more time going on trips for ourselves, getting time to do things for ourselves. There are more areas of my life but these are prevalent

I understand there's a delicate balance of taking time for myself and serving others but right now I have no balance. If I take time for myself that's all I want. I'm a giver by nature. I don't say that to boast, in fact it can be seen as a negative thing because I'm such a people- pleaser. I give and then start feeling selfish and entitled. When do I get to take? I do take so I really can't complain. I need to find this balance. Perhaps changing my perspective on things would also help.

Psalm 119:36 - Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.

An Ode To Hadley

Here are a few of Hadley's quirks caught on film (or pixels). We love her!

Since she was just a few minutes old she likes to lounge, with one leg, usually her left, hanging off to the side. In this particular picture the nurse had moved her leg down to be right next to her other one and she immediately put it back up. Now, some mornings we'll walk in to her room to get her out of her crib and she's got her leg hanging through the rungs.

1 month

10 months

She likes to cover her face while she sleeps. Much like her father. Although I don't think she really does it on purpose, sometimes she'll be awake and not move the blanket until she hears our voices.

9 Months

10 months

Hadley sucks her thumb. Not really a quirk since lots of babies do it but the way she does it is so cute. She has to have something in her hand, usually a blanket. And she usually uses both hands to get situated just right.

9 months

11 months

This may not be too much of quirk either, but when she's around other babies and car seats, she's the only one that will go straight for the buckles. Even if a baby is still strapped in she will play with it.

Of all the shoes in our closet, she chooses these. I wore them for an 80's prom Halloween costume.

When Hadley was first learning to use the sippy cup, she preferred the bottom side. She'd even steal other babies sippy cups and just suck on the bottom. We'd flip it right side up for her and she'd turn it upside down. She's got the hang of it now.

That's all I have for now. I'm sure there are more caught on camera or not. And as she gets older she'll, no doubt, develop new ones. I can't wait to see what those are.....well maybe I can wait. She is a gift from God and we love her to pieces.

Going Places

When I first thought of this new blog title it sounded sort of arrogant, like I was really on a path in life that would supersede anyone else. However, this is not the case at all. I really feel as though God has brought me into a different place in life and is taking me on adventures, some more exciting than others.

I feel I've gone through some of the most difficult times in my life in these past few years. God has taught me He is faithful. He has taught me that I am strong enough with His spirit to walk through the fire. Sometimes the fire seems to last forEVER!

Being a stay at home mom, or just a mom in general has been quite the journey. I sometimes feel like a horrible mom, or an over-protective mom, or the best mom. It all comes and goes. I've learned that I have to be a role-model for this child, even as young as she is. She can certainly pick up on my mood if nothing else. My patience has been tested when it comes to how other people treat me as a mom or my child. It truly is a full-time job mentally, physically, and emotionally, at least for me. I praise God almost hourly for the opportunity.

Being in a writing course I've discovered an ability I never thought was all that great. I still don't think it's great, but I do have enough confidence to move forward. I have confidence in my ability to learn and I suppose that's what's important.

Jon and I have been involved in a ministry that has been trying of my faith in God's work. Not so much His ability to do it, maybe just His ability to do it through us. I've discovered my attitude has become very negative, but I know God can use me so I keep showing up. I also know that if I show up my negative attitude will change. I keep thinking back to all the years I've done missions trips, outreach, etc. I have thoughts of wanting to stop and am reminded God can do great things and I want to be a part of that. Even when I'm tired I'll show up because God showed up for me.

Relationships as an adult have been a journey all it's own. Again, another struggle and many blessings. Relationships with friends, relationships with family, trying to balance mom and wife, the list goes on. My relationship with Christ is on a whole new level, which is awesome!

Needless to say, I have a lot of paths I feel like I'm traveling. Sometimes I have a good idea of where these paths are going to end up but most of the time I really don't. I wish 'going places' implied a life full of fun but either way I know I will grow as a person. Luckily, God is walking with me down each and every one.