Worry vs. Trust

This was a big theme for me this year. I finally got it. I know what it's like to trust God and stop worrying. I am by no means perfect at it. There are still times I worry but God's been training my heart and my mind to quickly turn things over and let Him do His thing. 

It's possible my personality helps with this. I'm a person who would rather enjoy life than worry about details. While most people might say they live by this motto, I think it's the people-pleasers, the laid-back, non-confrontational types. I always look for the easy way out of things, some might call this lazy, I call it efficient. I try to be efficient with my emotions and my time. I ALWAYS ask myself this question, "What good will it do for me to (fill in the blank)?" This comes with any task or situation. If I just had the worst experience at a restaurant and I feel the need to complain and raise hell, there's a little voice inside my head who says, "What good will it do for me to say something?" Will I get a free meal? Maybe. Might I ruin someone's day, who is already having a bad day? Perhaps and to me, it's just not worth it. I'm not against politely giving feedback, but what good does it do to be rude, angry, and upset about things? 

Unfortunately, for Jon, I also do this when stating my dislike of something he's doing. For example, if he were the type of person to walk through the door and immediately throw his shoes in the middle of the floor, I may stop myself from saying something because I think, "What good will it do to complain about this? I do it too sometimes." It's something I'm working on, this filter of mine. I know when I worry I do things that are not honoring to God and they end up being self-serving. I lose focus.

I feel the same when it comes to worrying, at least now it's more clear to me. Jesus was clear when he said, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" (Luke 12:25). If I can't change anything by worrying, then why waste my time and energy doing it? What good will it do me? What good will it do others? I then become consumed by worry. My emotions are affected negatively, my mind can only focus on one thing, even my physical being is taking hits. I become tired, irritated, weepy, my stomach hurts, I lose sleep, my jaw starts hurting....it's just not worth it. 

Some reading this may think I've not experienced enough bad things to have real worry. Let me assure you, I have. I won't claim to know what others are going through but I will claim to know a Lord who takes care of us no matter the situation we're in, and to give Him complete trust over something is so freeing. This year I experienced the spirit of God telling me to stop worrying over something I've had no control of and never will. Even when I do have control over things, why should I worry when I look to God for guidance? Should I not trust His spirit will guide me through each situation? I constantly go back to that moment of realization and just smile. It was pretty amazing. 

He is in control. He knows what He's doing. He knows what's best. And He knows me! Praise God for this! There are hard times still ahead and I'm sure there will be plenty of times I worry but I hope God continues to train me in letting go and trusting Him. This doesn't mean I won't be angry, sad or experience grief, it means I'm trusting God to take care of me and taking care of others.  I wish I could share some magic formula. For me it was lots of prayer, reading the Bible, and choosing to change my perspective. What good would it do me to trust God? LOTS! I pray others have or will experience the awesomeness that is trusting God.

The Bizzaro World of Highway Driving

Nothing puts you in a merry mood like driving on I-10. Those who drive it on a regular basis or have driven it know what I mean. My usual experience with I-10 consists of the stretch between Tucson and Benson. However, today's particular experience remains the same for the drive between Tucson and Phoenix also. People complain it's mostly Tucson drivers, and while I take that a bit personal, I can say I've had a bad experience with people from out of state as well. I digress. Here's a little background information. According to Wikipedia (which we all know is a reliable source) I-10 is the 4th largest interstate and runs from California to Jacksonville, Florida. In most of the stretches of road I drive there are two lanes in each direction, leaving the right lane for slower drivers and the left lane for passing. Pretty simple.

There has to be a portal or some sort of vortex on the on-ramps which completely erase any education or training drivers have had on highway driving. If I remember correctly a driver is supposed to pass on the left side. This would leave me to conclude that the said driver does not stay in the left lane but respectfully puts on their blinker and gets in to the right lane after passing a slower car. Apparently, some people missed this day in drivers ed. They stay in the left lane even after they've passed a slower car. In fact, it seems they are apt to stay in the left lane if the road ahead of them is clear for the next mile. STOP DRIVING IN THE LEFT LANE. Please, get over in to the right lane. Inevitably, there is someone trying to pass a slower car (namely you, left-lane driver) but they can't. No, it's not a law (unless you are a danger to the rest of traffic), but yes it is a common courtesy. It's a simple task, constantly check your review mirrors and your speed. Even if you are going the speed limit, it may behoove you to get out of the way of faster drivers.

Additionally, if you are the faster car stuck behind a left-lane driver DON'T PASS ON THE RIGHT. I completely understand your frustration but we have to stick together on this. The moment one of us breaks from the group and passes on the right you have started the avalanche of right-lane passers. Let's say there are 4 cars, A, B, C, and D. A is the left-lane driver and B, C, and D are getting antsy, swerving slightly to the left and right to see what the hold up is. Since car B is directly behind A he notices there are no cars anywhere in sight so he thinks, "Maybe I should just pass on the right, no one's around and clearly this person isn't going to get over." He makes his move and passes on the right. Car A notices B passing and has, inconsiderately, been a left-lane driver. Car A decides to move to the right lane but as he checks his review mirror he notices Car C and D have now followed suit and started passing on the right, thus leaving all cars in the left lane to slow down because Car A cannot get over...we now have a moving traffic jam. This really only effects drivers on two-lane highways, but can really slow traffic down.

Cruise control. It's a new-fangled function on a car. You turn it on, set your car at a comfortable speed, press the 'set' button and take your foot off of the gas pedal. This not only saves you gas but helps you maintain speed. The great thing about cruise control is you don't have to use it but it would be great if you could pay attention to your speedometer as you drive and MAINTAIN YOUR SPEED. Nothing is more frustrating than The Highway Dance. If I pass you once, while using cruise control, I shouldn't pass you 5 more times. Maybe you drank a little too much Four Loco before hopping in your car, with your constant slowing and speeding up. I pass you then you pass me and then I pass you again....the dance continues. It's absurd.

There really is a method to the madness which is highway laws and driving courtesies. If each driver followed these courtesies the interstate roadways would be functioning like a well-oiled machine. Safety first, courtesy second.

What are your highway-driving pet peeves?

Wise Ol' Owl

I don't know much about Pooh, nor can I recall watching very many of the shows, but I do remember everyone always got advice from the wise ol' owl. He sort of had that old-wise-man-loving-grandpa type  of personality.


One of my favorite memories from growing up in Tucson was going to Camp Cooper in elementary school. In short Camp Cooper was a hands-on camp to learn more about the desert. We'd go out there for a weekend with our classes in 4th grade, camp, and do activities. One of my favorite activities was to dissect owl pellets. For those not familiar with owl pellets, they are really owl vomit. You may think this is gross but as a 4th grader who loved learning about animals and being outdoors this was like a mini treasure hunt. These pellets look like a fuzzy hair ball full of rodent bones. You could identify skulls and leg bones, and vertebras. Owl pellets are what we humans might call a food journal.

Owls have always had a reputation of being wise, strong, quiet, and respected. In many different cultures and religions owls have represented things such as wisdom, knowledge, protection, and even evil and death. If you've ever seen one in the wild they really are majestic animals. Their big eyes, their confident posture, and their seemingly floating head are a beauty to behold. They can live in holes in the ground, barns, or giant trees and cacti. They are fierce, stealthy night hunters.

Why owls? We went to the Desert Museum today, one of my favorite places to go in Tucson. While there we were able to catch a Raptor Flight Show. They showed 5 species of birds, including a Great-horned Owl. I've said before I worship through nature so seeing wildlife or being out in nature helps me see God and be close to God. For some reason as I watched the owl fly from branch to branch I felt as though I had just discovered how mysterious and graceful they really are. Their horns are not really horns but feathers and they have nothing to do with their hearing. Their face actually assists in their hearing as it acts like a satellite dish and collects sound. Their eyes cannot move inside their skull, thus the reason for their head being able to move so well. And of course, they are essentially silent when they fly using their massive wings. It's random to blog about owls but I wanted to share God's beauty that we saw today.

Photo #14

I wanted to write about something kind of random so I looked up writing prompts and it said to look through an album, pick photo #14 and write about it. Here's my not so random photo.

Hadley was just over 3 months old and here she is working on the ever-dreaded tummy time. She actually did pretty good with tummy time, for a few minutes anyway. I always fretted whether I was giving her enough opportunities to develop physically. I no longer worry about her physical development, especially after walking in on her the other day in the dining room. I had heard the chairs moving around, which is normal. I then hear a bag rustling which I knew was full of glass ornaments so I ran in there to stop her from pulling it off the table. After turning the corner into the dining room I quickly became concerned about HADLEY falling off of the table. Yep! She was STANDING on the dining room table. Fantastic.

This week she has been miss attitude. She's started saying, "Oh shoot." or similar phrases involving curse words. She also had us in tears, laughing at the table because we asked her to eat her dinner and she gave us this look like, "No, I'm not going to eat it." It's "The Look" you may have gotten when you were younger and an adult asked you to do something and for a brief second you were considering telling them, "No". Yes, that look. Well Hadley flipped the tables and gave us "The Look." Of course we tried not to let her see us laughing but it was pretty funny. She's also into scratching now if she gets frustrated or mad. That's pleasant.

She's been a handful and I love it. I absolutely love being a parent. Yes I have a few days where my patience has run out. I remind myself constantly that God gave us this opportunity to have a glimpse of what our relationship with Him is like. I know I'm human and He's God, but I also feel like He's so patient and forgiving with us, with His help we can get through those tough days. He helps me grow and mature and this is what I need to do with our child. So I laugh off the hard days because it's so much nicer that way. I don't want to spend time being frustrated with Hadley scratching me in the face because then I miss her silly, scrunchy nosed smiles. We work on consequences and changing behavior and move on.

This post really went in a different direction and maybe got a little off topic, but it felt good to write and let the words flow.

Advent Calendar mania

So I've had some people ask me to make them a calendar and I'm so very honored and would love to! I certainly can't make any promises about getting it done for this year's Christmas holiday but obviously by next Christmas I'll have it ready for you. I can switch it up a little so if you really want one, just let me know which option you'd like and if you have any specific colors you'd like or other requests. I don't know if I can find the exact same fabric I used because I was at JoAnn's the other day and briefly looked and didn't see it. That doesn't mean it's not there but I just want people to be aware of that. All I'm asking of friends is that you pay for the materials. I believe it's about $20 but I need to do a more specific calculation. Here are the options.

Option 1: Exactly as it is in the picture!

Option 2a: Instead of having the ornaments in a pocket I can line them up on the bottom so you can pull them off in order. With scripture written on the back of each ornament.

Option 2b: Instead of having the ornaments in a pocket I can line them up on the bottom so you can pull them off in order. Without scripture written on the back of each ornament.

Option 3a: Instead of having pictures on the ornaments I can put numbers on them. With scripture written on the back of each ornament.

Option 3b: Instead of having pictures on the ornaments I can put numbers on them. Without scripture written on the back of each ornament.

Option 4: You can buy the fabric and different materials and I'll make it for you!

The finished calendar is 42" by 24" so if you want something smaller (or bigger) let me know and I can adjust.

Advent Calendar

It's done! Finally! It really wasn't that difficult it was just a matter of me making some stinkin' decisions. Jon had an advent calendar when he was growing up and he had fond memories of pulling the little felt ornaments out at random. He had favorites and what he liked about it (besides the little treats) was not knowing which ornament he was going to get to add to the felt tree. So I was trying to duplicate this fun experience for our family.

I already had the beige cloth, I think it's canvas, and headed to my favorite store, JoAnn's! The moment I walked in the door I found some super cute fabric that had Christmas trees on it. It didn't scream old lady or gaudy, and it wasn't too little kiddy-ish. I bought the rest of my materials and headed home.

You can see what my plan was from the pictures. The only thing I didn't really have figured out was the pocket. I still wasn't quite sure if the ornaments would be numbered as so many calendars are, or if they would be Christmas images. I wanted this to focus us back on the reason for Christmas so the idea of "getting something" was out of play. We already did enough to focus on presents we didn't need one more thing.

The Ornaments
I had found a list of scriptures detailing the birth of Jesus so I wrote each of those verses on the back of a little wooden circle. The wooden circle, as you can see, became the ornaments. I then covered each circle with a beige piece of paper using Mod Podge. Using my Cricut machine I cut Christmas images out on glittery cardstock and Mod Podged those onto the circles. I had several issues with this because I had used Glossy Mod Podge and it looked kind of cheesy, I then tried Mod Podge with the matte finish and it looked much better. I almost scrapped the whole ornament idea over this so I'm glad I got them to a point where I was happy with them. I then hot glued some silver cord on the backs to hang them.



The Calendar
This is where I'm not so good with details. I just cut what I think looks good instead of doing a bunch of measuring and planning beforehand. For the blue fabric (Angel), and the three trees I only bought a 1/2 yard of fabric. It was barely enough so the pattern on the fabric would turn out right. I first cut 2 pieces (front and back) of canvas to the desired size and then realized for the biggest tree I only had about one size I could cut it, so the base was 21" and the sides came to 20". I then just cut the red tree's measurements almost in half and finally the light green tree, was about 3" less than the red. I made sure they all fit on the canvas before moving on. I used Heat-n-Bond on the back of the Christmas trees. Again, I didn't follow directions with the trees when using the Heat-n-Bond because I didn't know the measurements ahead of time and didn't want to waste fabric. This doesn't make a difference except in the cleanliness of your iron and ironing board. I then cut a 6"x12" rectangle of the blue fabric and put Heat-n-Bond on the back of that as well as a 6"x12" rectangle of red fabric, which I already had. These were used on my Cricut machine to cut out the angel, the star, and the "joy". I then ironed each item onto the canvas.



Finishing Touches
I laid out the ornaments on the big tree to make sure they'd all fit (I actually did this before decorating them.) I then placed buttons right above them and used a white fabric pencil to mark their spot. I sewed the buttons on their marks, using my sewing machine. I decided to make a pocket and have the ornaments drawn at random, even though the verses were in a particular order, I figured the kids would know the story well enough eventually. As I was about to make a pocket out of the beige canvas I realized I had a pair of Jon's old corduroy's sitting in my pile of fabric. I made sure the ornaments all fit and then cut the back pocket off. I placed it where I wanted it on my canvas and sewed it on. I then sewed the front and back canvas together with right sides facing each other on just three sides. After turning the canvas right-side out, I cut some batting to fit inside and placed it inside. I'm pretty sure normal sewers recommend sewing the batting to the fabric but I've done that before and it's not really fun to work with so I just inserted it after the fact. I top-stitched the top and cut off some excess fabric and batting. I used a dowel rod at the top to hang the calendar. After stitching the top closed I put the dowel rod down and folded the top seam back and pinned it. I then removed the dowel rod and top-stitched where the pins were. I tied some twine on the ends of the dowel rod after inserting it back into the calendar and Voila! It is finished.

I really went back and forth a lot on how to make this and what to do with the ornaments so I'm glad it's finally done and I'm proud of how it turned out.

Failure

I successfully failed at the "Blog a Day" for November. I couldn't even get this last blog up on the last day of November. I guess it's not much of a priority, although it should be since I'm working on being an author....it's sad really. I will say it was a step in the right direction, perhaps I will blog more than I have in the past. Now the trick is to actually hone my writing skills so it's interesting to read. Thanks for those who read all of my November entries. Here's to December blogs!