Baby Emma's Birth Day

Emma Lynn was born on May 21, 2012 at 8:31pm, weighing 6lbs 15oz and 19 inches long.

For two weeks I had been dilating and getting strong, although not painful, frequent contractions. Emma was really low so it was apparent when she was ready it would go really fast. I had a Dr.'s appointment on a Monday and she said since I was getting closer to the due date that if I had 6 or more contractions (no matter the intensity) to call her. Well that afternoon I had 10 in one hour so I called. She wanted me to time them for one more hour and she'd call back afterward. Well as things would go they were just as frequent but because they had not increased in intensity she said to wait it out. That night I started vomiting along with other things and continued through out the night. I had no fever but decided in the morning I'd call the Dr just in case she wanted me to get checked out. She said just to treat it like any flu with lots of rest and liquids. However she asked about the contractions and I said they were just as frequent but still not painful. She asked me to come in again that Wednesday because the contractions were obviously doing something. Wednesday at my appointment I had dilated from 3 to 4. The Dr. just said to continue with the same plan as before otherwise she'd see me at my regularly scheduled appointment the following Monday.

Monday the 21st rolls around. I had had a few strong contractions but the frequency had dropped quite a bit. I was expecting to be at about 6cm and was only at 5. The Dr. was worried the labor would go so fast I'd deliver at home so she said I could come in that Wednesday and she'd strip my membranes. If that didn't work to start labor she'd break my water that Friday. However, when it came to contractions she said anything goes now. With about 8 strong contractions in two hours that afternoon I called her and she said to head on in to the hospital. Jon came home from work about 3:30 and my mom came over to watch Hadley, who was still sleeping. We left Hadley a note of where we were and headed out. Luckily, we made it to the hospital in time to take advantage of the valet service!

I felt silly walking up to labor and delivery without soaked pants from my water being broken or not being doubled over in pain from contractions, but alas, we proceeded. We checked in within about 30 minutes and the nurse began sticking me with all kinds of needles. My Dr. showed up at 6pm to break my water and I have never felt something so painful. Actually I'm not sure it was the act of breaking my water that hurt. I think it was her stripping my membranes followed by putting an internal monitor in to monitor the contractions better. Holy Cow! I was halfway up the bed and about to hyper-ventilate.

After my water was broken and the pitocin had kicked in I was feeling those contractions. The Anesthesiologist came in to just assess things and I told her I'd wait until I was about 6 or 7 (knowing things could progress quickly) to get the epidural. That took about a whole 20 minutes after my water was broken so we had her come back in. I could tell she was having a difficult time getting it in the right place but eventually we were done and I started feeling tingly. All my lower half that is except for a small window on the right side. within about 15 minutes I was in a lot of pain and asked for the anesthesiologist to come back and check. She mentioned she'd move it but there was a risk of the epidural slipping out completely. I wasn't quite sure which was worse but she went ahead and fixed things. Within about 15 minutes the pain subsided and it was glorious. About 15 minutes later my Dr. said it was time to push....the epidural worked just in time! The Dr. kept saying she was so close but then realized her head was a little cock-eyed so they had to get a vacuum to help straighten her out. Later the Dr. mentioned that was probably the only reason she stayed in as long as she did and I hadn't gone in to labor a week earlier.

I pushed for 20 minutes and two and a half hours after my water was broken Emma was born. Emma was all twisted up in her cord, even though her heart monitor never showed signs of distress, so yet another reason I'm glad we didn't have her at home. :) So when she was born everything seemed fine. She seemed alert and her cry was decent. One of the nurses checking her out later remarked that her breathing didn't sound right. They had a NICU nurse in the room for delivery just because I was at 37 weeks so she came back and checked her out saying she looked ok. After some visitors we tried nursing and she had absolutely no interest and was making a grunting sound. The sound seemed like normal baby noises to us but she was doing it constantly.

We were wheeled to our post-delivery room by my nurse and the same infant nurse who was concerned about her breathing. As soon as we got to our room they decided to take her to the nursery to evaluate her breathing and oxygen levels. Jon went with her thank goodness and I was left in my room for about an hour wondering what was going on.

When Jon came back (it was now about 1:30am) he was with my nurse and both informed me that her oxygen levels were too low and she was going to the NICU to have an xray done and be monitored. After lots of crying Jon wheeled me to the NICU so I could see her. With tears streaming I watched as they hooked my baby up to lots of tubes and tried to make her comfortable. We finally tried to sleep at about 3:30 that morning only to wake at 6 to go visit her again. Thus began our journey of having a NICU baby.

2012 Halloween Theme

Several people have asked about our next Halloween Party theme and I better figure something out soon before Miss Emma gets here otherwise I may forget. Besides, people are actually putting thought and effort into these costumes so we have to keep the momentum going. Below I've listed a few ideas I have and while I enjoy a good joke or two myself, if you have a serious suggestion please comment below. You can also cast a vote if you want by commenting. PLEASE REMEMBER: This is a kid friendly party so any suggestions that include violent or "scary" costumes will not be considered.

For those who are new to the scene here are ones we've already done: Nintendo, Dress up from the head up, A play on words.


Cartoons -- Come dressed as your favorite cartoon character

Celebrities -- Come dressed as a celebrity (we could be more specific and do a time period like the 50's, or only actors/actresses, only singers, etc.)

A Night at the Oscars -- You can either dress up really fancy or come as a fancily dressed celebrity

Blast from the Past -- Pick a time period and dress up to match (Not too keen on the 80's...it's too easy)

Heroes & Villains -- This is not just from comic books it can be taken from movies as well (Disney movies are one good place to look for these ideas)

Ok that's about all I can think of for now.

I'm Not Called

As Christians we often use the excuse, "I'm not called to go overseas." Clearly in Matthew 28 we are ALL called to go somewhere. Yes, we have different gifts but that doesn't mean we all have different missions. We say we can witness right here in our city but few of us really do. We use it as a cop- out.

Please, your thoughts on this. I don't think it's realistic for ALL of us to go overseas, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have a willing spirit and trust fully. How do we reconcile God's command on all of us to go with the idea of "not being called?"

Abraham was audibly "called" by God to sacrifice his son. He didn't want to. Who would want to do that? But he was willing and he fully trusted God in His crazy plan. So what if we haven't been so clearly called as Abraham was? Is it ok to definitively say God doesn't want us to go there? Should we step out in faith saying God has commanded us to do this and if He wants us to honor in him in a different way he will close doors? Or do we sit and wait for that clear calling?

How much can you spare? vs. How much is it going to take?

To continue some thoughts of serving the poor with our resources. I liked what the author said, "What would happen, I thought, if we stopped asking how much we could spare and started asking how much it was going to take?" (Pg130, Radical)


What a great approach. I know for myself I need to use the same approach with my time. We continually look for limits (as our group discussed in regards to missions also). We want to know how much we can do to get by and be in good with God. Yet we should be asking, "How much God? How much will it take for your will to be done? All I have is yours, take it as you see fit." As one person in our group shared, Abraham was a great example of this, willing to give up his son (not to mention God). Job lost all his family and yet did not curse God (Question, yes. Curse, no). 


Why do we hoard our money and our time? It is not ours to hoard! There are people who need what God has given us and we sit on it like we're waiting for that one special event. I often find myself saying, "God when you bring someone in to my day to serve I will do it." But I'm often not paying attention nor am I taking the time to seek these people out. What are we waiting for???!?! I believe God calls us to look for the people who need his blessings, monetary and otherwise. 


Luke 12:22-34 is a great reminder of how God takes care of the birds and how he loves us so much more so he will take care of us that much more. First of all I think people have to believe that God actually does care for them more than the fields of flowers or birds of the air and then there's that whole trust issue that he'll follow through with this promise.


I have to be honest, as I've already mentioned, I am very stingy with my time. It's been a roadblock recently for me in certain areas of serving. It's something I'm continually praying about and working on. I will also admit I don't have a problem, as of yet, with giving monetarily so it breaks my heart to see disciples of Christ who cling so tightly to their money. If we can't depend on God to provide our basic needs what can we depend on him for? Watching people like this is like looking in a mirror. If God wants me to serve he'll make it so I can do it. The funny thing is, he's already made it so I can serve where needed, I have just lost track of priorities. The same goes with money. For most Americans God has already provided what we need we've just lost track of priorities in how we use those resources. 


"Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

 Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

 And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

   “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

   “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

   “This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.” (Luke 12:13-21)

What are you clinging to?

Serving the Poor

Again with our life group discussion. It's been a while since I've allowed God to push me in my thinking of how he wants us to live. In part, I'm thankful for this group of people who are willing to share honestly and challenge each other.

Reading through our current study, Radical, our topic of discussion was about reevaluating our possessions and wealth and being more generous toward the poor. God makes it VERY clear that we are to take care of the poor, orphans, and widows. It shows up several times in scripture. Naturally, the discussion centered around money. Jesus talked a lot about money and so that tells me it it's an important topic. God blesses some people with lots of money and expects all of us to manage what we have in a way that honors him.

One point that seemed to spark the most discussion was we need to have money to be able to serve the poor so we should manage our finances in such a way. I get that. As I read through the chapter I kept thinking is it wrong to manage our finances so when disaster strikes we have nothing to live on? Surely God wants us to have a savings. My only problem is nowhere in the bible does it say to save up our money. It reminds me of the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-28). Perhaps this was not the point of that parable but isn't it the same idea? God blesses us with stuff and by stuff I mean material and monetary possessions and out of fear of an emergency we run and hide our money. Just like the third man in the parable ran and hid his talents doing absolutely nothing with them.

I began to think after our discussion more about this. I really felt like I was wrestling with this idea of saving money in order to give to the poor. Here are a few thoughts the Spirit seemed to throw around in my head. Sometimes money is all that is needed in a situation but most of the time it's only relief. By relief I mean immediate, short-term help. By giving someone money for groceries I have met a long-term need with a short-term answer because once they run out of groceries they will need more and where will they get that money? Getting a car for someone is a great way to serve them and no doubt God has called people to do that, but again, what happens when that car needs repairs? Will this person be able to afford gas or insurance? Perhaps God will call you to support them in that way forever, although from what I've seen God do I think he'd be asking us to do much more than just give them grocery money. I also want to clarify we should not allow the details of the situation and long-term care scare us to the point of not giving. Just because we don't know how the person is going to pay for their next set of groceries doesn't mean we should not give. I think we need to be looking into the deeper issues though then just handing out money.

So how do we meet those long-term needs? It's like the old saying, "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he'll eat for a life time." I know some people can't physically work so helping them learn a new trade in order to get a better job may not be the solution, but connecting them with resources that are better off meeting a long-term need like groceries might be better. Perhaps it has nothing to do with them being able to get a job but it has everything to do with them keeping themselves healthy. Just because we live in America doesn't mean Americans know how to live a healthy lifestyle. Being healthy could be someones answer to staying out of poverty. Simply knowing the language could help a poor person, whether it's learning to read and write or to speak the language. Knowing how to have functioning, healthy relationships. Developing a healthy spiritual and emotional life could prevent poverty. It's a holistic approach.

As Americans we often equate poverty with lack of money and on the surface, yes I would agree, but there is so much more to it than just money. And if as Christians, we stop serving the poor because we feel like we don't have enough money I wonder, number one, are we trusting God enough to lead us in to a situation where our total dependence is on him to provide what we AND the other person needs? And number two, what other resources do we have to support the holistic healing of this persons life to bring them out of poverty? Money has it's role in helping the poor but I certainly don't think it's the end-all solution.

What do you think? Do we have to have money to serve the poor? Is it irresponsible to serve those in need when we ourselves are barely scraping by financially?

Profile of the Lukewarm

"It is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism, that in our day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is a proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow-hearted prosperity." - Frederic D. Huntington, Forum Magazine, 1890 (Taken from Crazy Love by Francis Chan)


Seeing this quote was taken from a man in 1890 it shows the consistency of lukewarm disciples of Christ. It seems more appropriate to say lukewarm Christians as the term disciples infers so much more commitment. 


In my reading through Crazy Love by Francis Chan he has a challenging chapter of which I stole the title for this post. My recent posts were about being of the world and being relevant as discussions emerged through our life group's reading of Radical by David Platt. I was searching for specifics of what that meant. While this chapter is about us being lukewarm and not so much about being of the world I think it fits perfectly. It's clear God would rather us be on one end of the spectrum or the other in our faith than to be lukewarm.


"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see." Rev 3: 15-18 (NIV84)


God DETESTS lukewarm living. He'd rather me not believe in him at all than to live half-heartedly. Ok, well I think ultimately he would rather I follow him but the degree to which I do it should be full on, ready for anything, completely dependent and trusting in him. 


Here is Chan's outline of a lukewarm life:


1. Lukewarm people attend church fairly regularly.


2. Lukewarm people give money to charity and to the church...as long as it doesn't impinge on their standard of living. 


3. Lukewarm people tend to choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict.


4. Lukewarm people don't really want to be saved from their sin: they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin.


5. Lukewarm people are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act.


6. Lukewarm people rarely share their faith with their neighbors, coworkers, or friends.


7. Lukewarm people gauge their morality or "goodness" by comparing themselves to the secular world.


8. Lukewarm people say they love Jesus, and He is, indeed, a part of their lives. But only part.


9. Lukewarm people love God, but they do not love HIm with all their heart, soul, and strength.


10. Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves.


11. Lukewarm people will serve God and others, but there are limits to how far they will go or how much time, money, and energy they are willing to give.


12. Lukewarm people think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven.


13. Lukewarm people are thankful for their luxuries and comforts, and rarely consider trying to give as much as possible to the poor. 


14. Lukewarm people do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling too guilty.


15. Lukewarm people are continually concerned with playing it safe; they are slaves to the god of control.


16. Lukewarm people feel secure because they attend church, made a profession of faith at age twelve, were baptized, come from a Christian family, vote Republican, or live in America.


17. Lukewarm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they do not have to.


18. Lukewarm people probably drink and swear less than average, but besides that, they really aren't very different from your typical unbeliever.




WOW!!!! If you're like me I finished reading through this (he backed up every single item with at least two references to scripture by the way) and felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Some of these are more prevalent in my life than others so does that make me a lukewarm Christian? Chan addresses this in the end of the chapter but he also challenges his readers to consider our current state and how we will no longer be lukewarm.


Which of the 18 items hits you the hardest about yourself? May you take a moment and have a real conversation with God about being transformed from Lukewarm to Radical.


"Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves." 2 Corinthians 13:5

Being Relevant While Being Radical

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2


I was hoping someone would read my previous blog and come up with some brilliant, clearly defined answer to my question of being relevant and radical. But alas, I will look to the scriptures. (That's a joke.)


After searching through some of the scriptures (it's possible I missed some) I came to the unofficial conclusion to be radical means to not partake in the sinful nature of this world. That seems pretty cut and dry to me. Sure we'll mess up and make mistakes but it's the difference between us trying and the world not caring. Titus 2 was a great chapter on righteous living. 


It [the grace of God] teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. Titus 2:12


Just living a self-controlled life (according to our desires and sinful nature) and not giving in to what we think we need is living radically by our societies standards. Living self-controlled lives in regards to our marriages so that we can uphold the commitment is radical. As basic as these ideas are they are a part of radical living in our society and I guarantee people will notice. Sadly, it shouldn't take much to stand apart from the world. Using our possessions, or rather maintaining an attitude of not our's but God's possessions, to serve others. Isn't that radical?


Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. 1 Peter 2:11


Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.1 John 2:15


What else? What other specific ways can we abstain from the sinful nature and stand apart from the world in order to bring God to the forefront?