Mulling things over

I have a lot on my mind right now. For one our house is in a slight state of disrepair as we start the first phase of remodeling our kitchen. And yes, I do know I am hosting a baby shower this weekend. Someone (not you Katie) asked me if I remembered I was hosting a shower this weekend. Typically not something you forget. That was one reason we decided to go ahead with the first phase because it will make having the party a little nicer. Trust me though, for those who have never visited our house, you will hardly be able to tell anything was done. It's a bit of a long story but it should have been done last week, ahhh the joys of remodeling. I am totally excited for the new kitchen though, it's going to be pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Phases 2 & 3 will start after our trip to Costa Rica so probably early to mid February. This will include new flooring and new cabinets/countertops. Hadley and I have essentially been living in the two bedrooms since our living room, dining room and kitchen have all been under plastic for the last week. It's really not that bad until the guys come to work and then we have to stay in the rooms.

My friend Leatrice is out of the hospital and healing. Praise God for that miracle!

My heart and mind are trying to push down the thoughts my spirit wants to dwell on, which is "how are you honoring God with your life?" Ughhh. Since the struggles with the different ministries I've really been questioning where Jon and I are as a family and where we are as individuals. What we are doing to serve Jesus. I'm looking forward to some time to talk this over with Jon, perhaps on the beach in Costa Rica. :) I'm thinking of joining a Thursday morning bible study to spur on these questions and thoughts.

Finally, at least for this post, this weekend's events of the shootings have brought up a lot of discussion. I will be honest up front, I feel somewhat disconnected from the whole thing and haven't felt real sad about it. Let me explain. I understand the seriousness of it and certainly have sympathy for those involved or affected. However, I think I have placed this with all the other mass shootings and events that have happened in recent years. It's tragic, but not having known or met any of the people involved it's hard to associate with it. People have made comments about how they never expected anything like this to happen in Tucson and this irritates me. Yes, it's shocking but sadly, not unbelievable. There are evil people in this world who will do awful things and they are every where. Do you think the residents of Lancaster, PA ever thought someone would open fire on a bunch of people in an Amish school? I'll tell you what is encouraging about this, most people seem to believe that we are all innately good. It's so shocking because it's hard for us to imagine someone would want to cause hurt to others like this. If we are made in the image of God we should be innately good. It's been strange to see some people believed the nation should be grieving in a similar fashion to us in Tucson. Did Tucson grieve the same as those in Lancaster?

I repeat, this is a very tragic event and I have a lot of sympathy for those who were affected by this, especially the 9 year old girl whose life was taken as well as the family of the shooter. The shooter's family must also be grieving as they have experienced a sense of loss themselves. I personally have not connected emotionally with this as so many others have. I simply don't see how this particular situation deserves more sympathy or recognition than any other mass shooting as so many have portrayed (intentionally or not). Especially as disciples of Christ, we should be mourning for all who lose their life for they are each precious to God.

One friend asked the question, "What do we do now?" (in the face of flying accusations towards political parties, protests at funerals, pointing fingers at the public education system, or gun laws). We pray. We can blame, accuse, and point fingers all we want but we are missing the point. Evil will happen despite the laws, despite the education system, despite extra security. We need to be loving those who seem unlovable and we need to be praying for those who need it. To be honest my heart breaks for the shooter. Whether it's genetics that has caused a mental disorder or perhaps a life of anger and hatred could things have been different if he had been loved by someone around him? Had anyone truly, lovingly, and kindly shown him the heart of Christ? I understand people reject Christ and do so violently, this doesn't mean we should stop trying.