I'm a year old!

Ok, so this post is not about Hadley, her's is next week on her actual birthday. This post is going to be for me. I am a year old mother who has successfully, though not without stumbling, made it through the first year of parenting. SIGH! Wow! It feels great! I know I've said this before in previous blogs but I'm glad to have made it past the first year with my first child. I enjoyed every minute of being home with Hadley and watching her grow, although there were times where I did want time to go just a tad faster so I could relax a little.

I was such a laid back person. It would take a lot to stress me out UNTIL I had a baby. Sometimes I don't know if it's because I'm at home all the time so I just have more time to dwell on things or if it really does come with motherhood. I had no worries of post-partum depression but I had serious worries of becoming an over-protective, over-bearing mother who wouldn't let anyone else touch her baby until she was at least 5. I think I've come a long way. I haven't felt like I need time away from Hadley, but maybe that will come. I can't claim that it isn't nice to be out running errands without her but if I had to choose, I'd take her with me.

The worries and lessons of months 1-3: Breastfeeding was a HUGE issue and that consumed me for a good part of the first month. With Jon's great support and our perseverance it all paid off but not without lots of crying, pain, and worrying. I realized my mental state was far more important than breast milk so I was about to start formula feeding. Thank God for things improving. Crying was another major issue. The nurses and doctors tell you it's their only way for communicating for EVERYTHING so somehow I'm supposed to decode it and fix it. (enter buzzer noise here) Nice Try! While the crying itself was wearing after a while the worst part was I felt I had to give Hadley something but I had no clue what it was. The lesson learned here, STAY CALM and just try everything, eventually something will work and everyone will be happy again. It was also evident that babies just have bad days, like adults. They just need someone there to comfort them.

The worries and lessons for months 4-6: Eating again became an issue, luckily we were given the green light at her 4 month check up to start solid foods. I became more worried about myself in regards to letting other people take care of Hadley. It wasn't that I didn't trust them, or maybe it was, but I always felt like I know what she likes, I know her routine so why don't we just keep it that way so everyone is happy. Not only that but I took a lot of advice too personal. I always felt when people gave me advice they were implying whatever I was doing wasn't working or they were implying that I had absolutely no clue whatsoever. Like I didn't have access to the internet and millions of books out there to tell me what to expect. I've learned people offer advice to make things easier on me and even if it is an implication they don't think I'm doing a good job, I know I am and I'm proud of how Hadley is growing up so it doesn't really matter. Really the only other worry I had was over providing Hadley with toys or activities that would stimulate her little brain. I want to provide those for her but I also know she'll learn as she goes, after all she is only 1 (well almost).

The worries and lessons for months 7-9: Are we feeding her enough varieties of food? I know breastmilk/formula is really supposed to be their primary source of nutrition anyway, but I want to make sure she's getting what she needs and developing a palate for a variety of foods, unlike her mother who has a selective palate. We were a little worried about the crawling but it came in the blink of an eye one day. I've really had to stop myself from comparing Hadley to other babies when it comes to development, she's still in the normal range of development so I can CALM DOWN!

The worries and lessons for months 10-12: Are we feeding her enough varieties of food? Are we offering her enough toys or activities to stimulate brain and language development? Are we helping her shape her behavior to be respectful, kind, caring? I think the answer to all these are yes, but it's so hard not to question.

You can see just by the lengths of paragraphs that I really worried a lot about things when Hadley was first born, that's why I'm glad to be past it all. I feel a lot more relaxed now. Handing her off to someone else for babysitting is a lot less stressful because Hadley adapts easier. We've got the sleep thing down and she is an EXCELLENT sleeper! I'm a big supporter of regular routines for babies, I think it's beneficial in many ways. That's not to say a little variety isn't good, but I think while babies are first learning to sleep, eat, and grow they need some constants in their day to day life. I also think it helps them adapt better as they get older because they know life can go back to normal when the craziness is over.

I've loved every minute of this past year. I'm so thankful for my wonderful teammate and best friend, my husband, for all the energy he pours into our daughter and into supporting me. I praise God for a relatively good year and for all the lessons He continues to teach me. I can't wait for this next year. I know we'll still be working on Hadley walking and helping her learn to talk. The teacher in me may make an appearance as she starts learning to talk. All in all I anticipate it only getting better!